v1.jpg)
Hello All,
Don’t forget to set your clocks forward 1 hour.
~~~~~
One question. How many of you are planning to buy something you really don’t need this year? Hummm ... So you’re not following the example of our elected officials?
Maybe they need to follow our example for a while. Check our Chuck Colson’s “BreakPoint”
comments titled “Pure Pork” further down in this week’s posting.
~~~~~
What can I say about my first weeks at Lion Oil? How about it’s been GREAT! I really enjoy the work and the folks I’m working with are a fine bunch of people. I’ve not only began learning a new job but I’ve played with both fire trucks and helped out at the new Fire Training Grounds they are building.
I’ve officially joined the ranks of folks who were forced out of their job and discovered that life outside was WAY better than they thought it would be. I’m not only happier than I’ve been in years but I’m healthier. Mike Meadows, one of the guys I’m working with has volunteered to be my fitness coach. Well ... sort of. What he actually said was; “We’re gonna have you in shape by “Turnaround” in August.” He just might. I’m training on the job with Mike and he’s moving fast even when he’s standing still. I’ve been in “Warp Mosey” mode just attempting to keep up with him.
~~~~~
Annette isn’t going to be happy that I’m sharing this, but we all need to smile, especially in these times.
~
You know how folks our age have sounds? I mean our body makes noises that younger folks aren’t familiar with. Our bones creak and crack. Our flesh flaps against our bodies. We snore and wheeze and burp. And our internal organs can sometimes be heard.
Annette and I were lying in bed, watching “Monk” when suddenly my stomach “grumbled.” Then, a few seconds later, Annette’s stomach “grumbled” too. Within a few minutes both of our stomachs had made this same type of sound several times.
Finally, Annette asked; “What do you suppose they’re saying to each other?”
~~~~~
Many of the folks on my “Class of 1969" Facebook Discussion group have recommended the book “The Shack”. So I decided to give it a read. So far I’m a fan. The first Chapter begins with a quote from my favorite singer, Larry Norman.
~~~~~
I figured no one was reading my movie or book reviews and took them out of last week’s “Bleat”. Bingo, a reader lets me know that’s one of her favorite parts of “Da Bleat.” So we’re putting our movie and book reviews back in.
~
I was raised in the Cameo Theater. First, when I was very young, my mother would send me to the movie instead of getting a baby sitter. It was cheaper and I was just across the street from her. Of course, in those days, a movie would stay at the Theater for two or three days and sometimes even be held over for a week or two and there weren’t multiple screens. So I often saw the same film several times (twice each night and then again each evening until the venue changed.) Then, when I got old enough, I started working for Mr. Florence as a projectionist which meant that I saw all of the movies multiple times. I think my record was running Elvis Presley’s “Speedway” 18 times. I can still quote the dialog from that one.
Mr. Florence would often discuss movies with us and I learned to appreciate the directing, music, cinemaphotography, etc. Tie that experience to the fact that my dad and I used to watch the “Late Movie” (remember those?) when he came home from work and you’ve got the makings of an Amateur movie buff.
For an amateur movie buff there's no better service than Netflix. You can order just about any movie ever put on DVD from them. I just wish the rest of the world had my taste. "No Time For Sergeant’s" is still not out on DVD.
~~~~~
One of my classmates wrote “I still dream of Iris's wop salads 40 years later.” Hers was among quite a few comments about my parent’s restaurant including those that praised the pies (especially Butterscotch, Banana, and Coconut), French donuts, nachos, Italian Sandwiches made on my mom’s homemade bread, and the famous “Mexican Shutdown” plate my dad designed to feed hungry workers at the Dow Plant. The “Mexican Shutdown” consisted of an order of meat and cheese nachos, two beef enchiladas, a tamale, two tacos, refried beans and rice along with a half gallon of tea. It’s been over 20 years since the Chatterbox closed and I still miss the food and the folks that you could find there.
~~~~~
Ah yes.....one more vision of the "Good Ol' Days"........... Annette and I still have the close line that my dad erected in our back yard 60 years ago (well the poles were put in that long ago. We have replaced the actual lines a time or two.) And we still use them occasionally. If you want truly soft clothes, hang them on the line just before or as it starts raining. Then, let them sun dry. They will be softer than a baby’s bottom.
Bug
~
THE BASIC RULES FOR CLOTHESLINES: (if you don't know what clotheslines are, better skip this)
1. You had to wash the clothes line before hanging any clothes- walk the entire lengths of each line with a damp cloth around the lines.
2. You had to hang the clothes in a certain order, and always hang "whites" with “whites," and hang them first.
3. You never hung a shirt by the shoulders - always by the tail! What would the neighbors think?
4. Wash day on a Monday! . . . Never hang clothes on the weekend, or Sunday, for Heaven’s sake!
5. Hang the sheets and towels on the outside lines so you could hide your "unmentionables" in the middle (perverts & busybodies, y'know!)
6. It didn't matter if it was sub zero weather . . . clothes would "freeze-dry."
7. Always gather the clothes pins when taking down dry clothes! Pins left on the lines were “tacky!"
8. If you were efficient, you would line the clothes up so that each item did not need two clothes pins, but shared one of the clothes pins with the next washed item.
9. Clothes off of the line before dinner time, neatly folded in the clothes basket, and ready to be ironed.
10. IRONED?! Well, that's a whole other subject!
A POEM
A clothesline was a news forecast
To neighbors passing by.
There were no secrets you could keep
When clothes were hung to dry.
It also was a friendly link
For neighbors always knew
If company had stopped on by
To spend a night or two.
For then you'd see the "fancy sheets"
And towels upon the line;
You'd see the "company table cloths"
With intricate designs.
The line announced a baby's birth
To folks who lived inside -
As brand new infant clothes were hung,
So carefully with pride!
The ages of the children could
So readily be known
By watching how the sizes changed,
You'd know how much they'd grown!
It also told when illness struck,
As extra sheets were hung;
Then nightclothes, and a bathrobe, too,
Haphazardly were strung.
It also said, "Gone on vacation now"
When lines hung limp and bare.
It told, "We're back!" when full lines sagged
With not an inch to spare!
New folks in town were scorned upon
If wash was dingy and gray,
As neighbors carefully raised their brows,
And looked the other way . . .
But clotheslines now are of the past,
For dryers make work much less.
Now what goes on inside a home
Is anybody's guess!
I really miss that way of life.
It was a friendly sign
When neighbors knew each other best
By what hung on the line!
Thanks to Mike and Norma Kay
~~~~~
St. James Episcopal Church and First Presbyterian Church are preparing for the Lenten Soup Luncheons that will be held 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. every Wednesday from March 4 to April 1. The luncheons feature a simple menu of soup and bread. They will be held in the fellowship hall of First Presbyterian Church, 1417 N. Jackson. A $7 donation is requested. Proceeds will go toward the benevolence projects of both churches.
~~~~~
Our Magnolia High School Class of ‘69 40th Reunion is tentatively scheduled for June 19, 20 and 21. ~~~~~
Zoe Goss, 5 yr old granddaughter of Dr. Larry & Dyane Braden (Camden physician).
Abdominal mass was found as result of some tests done by Dr. Braden here in Camden. They are on their way to Children's Hospital with Zoe. Zoe lives in Texarkana with her parents, Ben & Erin Goss where her mother is a medical doctor. Zoe has been in Camden the last few days visiting with grandparents and had been complaining of a headache for several days. Dr. Braden ordered some tests and found this today. They want her placed on as many prayer lists as possible.
~~~~~
In what represents the first time a major industry group has called for reform of the current Toxic Substances Control Act, the American Chemistry Council was among the groups calling upon Congress to modernize the chemical regulatory system. "The federal chemical management system should be updated to better leverage new science and technology, where there is scientific consensus on both the methods and how to interpret results," said Cal Dooley, the ACC's CEO. "This will lead to more intelligent evaluations of chemicals and regulatory decisions about their use." The New York Times/Greenwire [http://www.nytimes.com/gwire/2009/02/27/27greenwire-industry-group-calls-for-modernization-of-toxic-9908.html]
~~~~~
Facing increased public concern over the health effects of bisphenol A, the six largest manufacturers of baby bottles say they will stop selling bottles in the U.S. that contain the chemical. Attorneys general in Connecticut and New Jersey recently wrote to the bottle makers to request that they voluntarily stop using the chemical, and some said they were already removing BPA from their product lines. The American Chemistry Council this week again noted the FDA's position that BPA does not pose a health risk at current levels found in food bottles and containers. The Washington Post [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/05/AR2009030503285.html]
~~~~~
Joe Tudor shared this interesting, thought provoking discussion on the SAFETY listserv... [NOTE: These are technical folks and they often get tangled in meaningless details. . . Bug]
-----Original Message-----
Topics of the day:
Safety Myths - Go ahead - prove that they exist! I'd like to challenge the list members to prove the following things WRONG. This is a bit like Myth Busters...don't ya love those guys?
1) Incidents (accidents) are multi-causational and of course have both physical and behavioral causes. Attributing a percentage to one or the other is not logical (like 88% of all accidents are caused by unsafe acts). To make this point I'd like a list of incidents from your experience where only one cause (behavior) was present without a physical unsafe condition. I've have personally NEVER found one. Certainly if there are 88% of incidents caused by unsafe acts the list should be very long.
2) If 1) is true, then to suggest labeling the causes of incidents as one being more important than the others (root cause) makes no logical sense. A cause is a cause is a cause (sorry to all those commercially available software and training courses). We need to address them all if we are to be effective in prevention. I'd like a list of NON-Root causes to incidents that are not important enough to worry about. I've never found a cause I thought should be ignored and frankly can't think of one good reason to call one a Root Cause and another a Non-Root Cause if we're going to address them all anyway.
3) There's been a great deal of discussion about "common sense" (there are other terms that have be used, feel free to replace "common" with whatever you like). I'd like a list of human "common sense" things that everyone knows without being taught them. I can't think of any.
Feel free to share your insights into these myths of safety. If I'm wrong I'd sure like to know it!
Be careful here though, you may actually have to let go of some things that you think are true...I know I did.
Best Regards
Alan D. Quilley CRSP
—
Then Joe sent us this reply, “I think, is the best one yet (then again, maybe I'm guilty of latching on to the one that expresses my opinion in the first place; I'm reminded of the quote on my bulletin board: "Don't believe everything you think."
=================================
From: C Herb Hickman
In truth, the biggest, most fertile and enduring class of safety myth is "unsafe act." To understand that, we must bear in mind what a myth actually is, instead of the sloppy language of today. A myth is not just something you decide is not true or true enough. A myth is by original definition a story made up -- most often by anonymous author and most associated with primitive societies -- to explain observations in the natural world.
Industrial safety activities mainly developed after Workman's Compensation laws were passed, and soon called for investigation of all job accidents to identify cause(s). The first line supervisor was identified very early as the person to be primarily responsible and the person to investigate the accident. And wonder of wonders, those supervisor investigations soon began to find that the fault and causation most often lay with the injured person. If a lift truck ran over Joe, it would not have happened had Joe paid sufficient attention to where he was going. If a hot steel bar from a rolling mill pierced Joe's chest, Joe had failed to be alert to moving materials. For decades, supervisors cranked out accident investigation reports placing responsibility squarely on the injured worker, sometimes a fellow worker, more rarely any absence of guards or interlocks or insufficient clearance, or anything else that cost money.
Various management reps presumably read those investigation reports, and then they were filed. More decades later. someone -- many someones, actually -- in search of a thesis or dissertation -- undertook to study some of those databases of accident investigations and learn about causation from that study. Again, wonder of wonders, those scholars found that X (large X) percent of all accidents were caused by unsafe acts, by human errors. Such findings and consequent corrective "theories" were immensely popular with management and bean counter. It gave a terrific boost to something they called behavior- based safety. Most of us are old enough to remember generally what followed after.
C Herb Hickman, CIH, CSP (I was there.)
Opinions mine and not necessarily those of any employer or associate.
=================================
Here are some of the other responses
=================================
From: Norman Umberger
I call your bluff–
Almost all the incidents I hear about are caused by an unsafe act, rather than a condition. The only way for an unsafe condition to cause an incident is if the condition pops up spontaneously, a rare, but no unprecedented event.
That act might not be done by the person affected by the incident, but it is an unsafe act, nonetheless.
We might say that it is not practical, practicable, reasonable, or cost-effective to correct the unsafe condition, but it is very rare to have an unsafe condition without an unsafe act that caused, or did not prevent, the unsafe condition.
With that, the rest of your main argument falls apart.
It is often useful to use some logic and determine which conditions/acts are necessary and which are sufficient.
You asked about innate common sense. Perhaps there is no such thing, but that is not terribly worrisome, unless you use child labor.
As to the common sense nonsense that sprung about on the list recently. I am not sure why folks are so adverse to the notion of the common modern-day definition: sound judgment not based on specialized knowledge; native good judgment. I use my every day for almost everything. That is not a very high bar and one we can expect everyone to rise to.
So, now you know it,
Norman
------------------------------
From: Wood Michael
While I agree with Norman that all so-called unsafe conditions except for t he rare spontaneous event ultimately arise from one or more unsafe acts, I think that actually demonstrates that the classic distinction between the two is meaningless.
And the 88 percent figure quoted in Alan's note comes from Heinrich, who was NOT talking about unsafe acts committed by management, by purchasing, etc ., when he used the term. He was talking about a failure by individuals directly involved in the event.
That said, I disagree with Alan's conclusion that multiple causation means that the search for "root causes" does not have value. It is not true that "a cause is a cause is a cause" -- some are more readily correctable than others. And some do indeed occur in sequence (so that if you take out step 3, step 4 becomes impossible).
Of course, as one of the proponents of "the common sense nonsense" that showed up on this list recently, my opinion may not carry much weight. But it makes sense to me -- which may mean that it reflects a level of ..... uncommon sense?
Just kidding on that last.
Michael Wood, CSP
Administrator, Oregon OSHA
------------------------------
From: "Scharf, Ted (CDC/NIOSH/DART)"
Dear Norman,
First example: weather. Changing weather can present sudden and very dangerous, unsafe conditions.
If you want to characterize changing weather conditions as an unsafe act that workers failed to take into account, you have to establish a very high bar for monitoring weather and reacting well in advance of a potential storm. For example, fishing boats would probably not make wages if they headed for port in time to avoid every potential storm.
But this is just one example.
The more general set of unsafe conditions is any work process where the hazard cannot be completely eliminated or controlled, by the standards of the classic hierarchy. In fact, there are many examples where the hazard is inherent to the work process itself, i.e. the hazard is necessary to get the job done.
More specifically when hazards are present and constantly changing, you have the possibility of unsafe conditions dramatically changing the nature of the work, suddenly and without warning.
Apologies for blowing our own horn on this one, but we did do a paper trying to lay out this issue. I was fortunate enough to learn about these issues from some of the best researchers in mining and agricultural safety:
Scharf, T., Vaught, C., Kidd, P., Steiner, L., Kowalski, K., Wiehagen,
B., Rethi, L., and Cole, H. (2001). Toward a typology of dynamic and
hazardous work environments. Human and Ecological Risk Assessment.
v.7, no.7, pp. 1827-1841.
Needless to add, I would be pleased to send the pdf to anyone interested. Just write to me directly.
Ted
Personal opinion only.
~ ~ ~
Ted Scharf, Ph.D.
Research Psychologist
Work Organization and Stress Research Team
National Institute for Occupational Safety & Health
ms/C-24, 4676 Columbia Parkway
Cincinnati, Ohio 45226
513-533-8170, 513-533-8596 (fax), 513-226-9650 (cell)
TScharf@cdc.gov
N.I.O.S.H. - "Safety and health at work for all people - through
research and prevention."
http://www.cdc.gov/niosh/homepage.html
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
From: MATTHEW STEIN
First we must accept that the workplace is conceived and controlled by humans in the end all incident are unsafe acts it is just a question of if the unsafe act was created by an engineer/planner or another employee / worker bee.
Beyond that there have been many unsafe conditions including those caused by LACK OF ACTION created by humans that caused significant damage and death among them the Bhopal cyanide massacre. The leak and subsequent lethal exposures to the community caused tens of thousands of deaths.
Just my 2 cents worth and no one else's including my employer's.
Matthew A. Stein CIH
3325 Fear St.
Eau Clair
------------------------------
From: "Alan D. Quilley CRSP"
Norm
You didn't do a very good job...read the challenge again.
1) Describe ONE incident that didn't have an unsafe condition. Of course they ALL have an unsafe act.
2) What's the value of naming causes Root or not if you are going to address them all anyway.
3) List the "common sense" examples we're suppose to all have.
Regards
Alan
------------------------------
From: Norman W Ritchie
Normans stand together! Or should it be Normen?
There are indeed some spontaneously arising unsafe conditions, but these represent a tiny proportion of the total. (Virtually almost) every unsafe condition exists as the result of an act or omission of people. Those people may not be anywhere near the condition, either in space or time, and their behavior is generally driven by business processes and management systems. We demonstrate this in hundreds of workshops per year and it is the principle upon which the super-simple KUBO-TEPA problem solving process is based. Once you understand the acts of people, you can work out what you'd rather have people do in the future, and your corrective action must bridge that gap.
As to the concept of root cause, I submit that there is no such thing: every cause is the effect of some other cause. It is absolutely vital to understand cause and effect relationships as they relate to an unplanned event. The art is to know where it makes sense to stop.
Cheers,
Norman
vPSI Group, LLC
Houston TX
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
These e-mails are from the SAFETY@list.uvm.edu list.
~~~~~
Just a reminder that those looking for quality, free photo editing software should try “GIMP” [http://www.gimp.org/]. [http://www.gimp.org/tutorials/].
~~~~~
Don’t forget to use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] when you search the Internet!
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - Lose Weight With The Whole World
66-year-old Carole Carson might be just about the last person you expect to be leading a worldwide health and fitness movement. She would agree! Her journey started with wanted to lose some extra pounds herself and a very embarrassing moment on the front page of her hometown newspaper.
Watch Video >> [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/over60/stories/os_080708_fitnesschallenge.html]
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Orlando Ortega - - Hometown: San Antonio, TX - - Awarded: Bronze Star - -
Major Orlando Ortega was responsible for leading approximately 200 soldiers in Iraq as the commander of G Battery 202 Air Defense Artillery.
He led his unit to conduct more than 650 missions in different parts of Iraq without losing any soldiers. This was no small feat, and Ortega will be the first to say that you can never become too comfortable.
Sept. 15, 2004, was a perfect case in point. The day started as a 'routine' reconnaissance mission, and ended with two roadside bombs and ground combat operations against enemy forces that earned Ortega the Bronze Star with Valor.
"During this time (that he was in Iraq), the main routes were being heavily targeted by insurgents," says Ortega as he begins recounting the incident.
The 7 a.m. mission for the six vehicle convoy and 30 soldiers was to recon new routes to move the brigade south to Kuwait in the upcoming year.
"It took 17 hours from start to finish with several stops to refuel. The trip south towards Kuwait was very long with few a roadside bombs and sniper attacks," Ortega continued.
"The return trip was a different story…we were southeast of Baghdad returning to our forward operating base in the north. A loud roadside bomb exploded and my vehicle stopped," Ortega continued. What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion. Immediately, I checked my legs to ensure they were intact."
"My driver was slumped over the steering wheel and the passengers in the rear were stunned. We received small arms fire from the second and third floor of a building on our right."
When asked about the condition of his troops, Ortega said no one was seriously injured. Everyone was just stunned by the impact. When they got their bearings, they discovered they were in a kill zone and 7-10 insurgents armed with AK47 were in and around a three-story building.
Still in the midst of the kill zone, Ortega guided the convoy forward about 100-150 meters. Then the insurgents attacked the last vehicle of the convoy as their target
"After a split second of weighing my options I decided to conduct a counter attack," said Ortega. "It was an extremely difficult decision to make knowing the threat to my soldiers' lives."
However, the last vehicle was being pounded, even though they persevered returning fire.
Once clear of the ambush site, Ortega successfully led the convoy in two counter-attacks, each time employing accurate and deadly fire as he maneuvered the convoy to engage the enemy.
According to the award citation, Ortega "successfully defeated the anti-Iraqi forces with no friendly casualties or major equipment damage."
"Within 48 hours my soldiers were back on new missions. Incidents like this one occur every day in Iraq but go untold," concluded Ortega.
His heroism and dedication to his fellow soldiers on the battlefield upholds the finest traditions of military service, the citation reads.
Reflecting on his troops, Ortega said, "The U.S. should be proud of the soldiers that defend our country every day."
~~~~~
America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars.
~~~~~
Bug recommends . . . Kit Lange is an Air Force veteran and military writer who specializes in investigating murder cases stemming from actions in combat. Her work was used as evidence in the Lt. Ilario Pantano case, and has been quoted extensively in other news publications for other cases. In 2005, she co-wrote a 10-part series disproving war crime allegations against an elite Army unit; her blog [EuphoricReality.com] was named as one of the top 10 milblogs of the year. She is also the National Web Coordinator for Gathering of Eagles, a nationally-recognized troop support organization. Kit holds a degree in Aircraft Maintenance Technology from Spartan College of Aeronautics, and is working on a second degree in Aviation Technology Management. She resides in Tulsa , Oklahoma . This site has her comments on our current political situation [http://euphoricreality.com/2008/11/28/my-predictions-for-the-obama-presidency/comment-page-2/#comment-5632]
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web. If you haven’t read Michael’s dispatches, I strongly urge you to do so at once. It’s important that we all know what’s happening in our world.
“Bug”
~
President Barack Obama has spoken: "The United States of America Does Not Torture." According to the President, we have stopped torturing prisoners.
What do you think?
This is what I think. [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/the-united-states-of-america-does-not-torture.htm]
--
Very Respectfully,
Your correspondent,
Michael Yon
Http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php
~~~~~
Last week we watched [Ratings are my own]:
Nanny McPhee (2005) [6.0] Starring Emma Thompson ... Colin Firth
The Marrying Kind (1952) [8.6] Starring Judy Holliday ... Aldo Ray
~~~~~
We’re currently reading; The shack : a novel / by William P. Young. And
Under cover of darkness / James Grippando.
We intend to read; Last to die/ James Grippando
Critical mass / Whitley Strieber.
Hostile contact / Gordon Kent.
Run for your life : a novel / by James Patterson & Michael Ledwidge.
Stephen Coonts' Deep Black: Arctic gold / Stephen Coonts. .
We recommend: The shack : a novel / by William P. Young.
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include photos of Lion Oils El Dorado Refinery (taken from outside the plant).
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat4q08.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see more photos of April’s train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Dr. Pat Antoon’s Address:
Pat Antoon 06669-010
Federal Prison Camp
P.O. Box 9300
Texarkana, TX 75505
Be sure and keep him in your prayers.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - Sautéed Sea Scallops and Vegetables - - Yields 4 servings - - Sautéed sea scallops, mushrooms, bell pepper, tomato, and onion.
Ingredients
1 lb large scallops, sliced horizontally, rinsed, and dried
6 fresh mushrooms (med), sliced
1/2 medium green bell peppers, diced
1 medium tomatoes, chopped
1/4 cup white wine (dry)
2 fresh green onions, chopped
1 tsp dried dill weed
1 Sauté mushrooms, bell pepper, tomato, and wine over medium heat in a nonstick skillet. Cook for 5 minutes.
2 Add scallops, onions, and dill weed. Cook for another 5 minutes.
Serve alone in a crock or over your favorite whole grain.
Makes 4 servings
Amount Per Serving
Calories 59.5
Total Carbs 4.7g
Dietary Fiber 1.2g
Sugars 1.5g
Total Fat 0.4g
Saturated Fat 0g
Unsaturated Fat 0.3g
Potassium 615.8mg
Protein 7.2g
Sodium 63.7mg
Dietary Exchanges
1/2 Vegetable, 1 Very Lean Meat
printed from dLife.com
[http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/diabetic-recipes/Sauteed-Sea-Scallops-and-Vegetables/r9862.html]
~~~~~
BreakPoint
Pure Pork
By Chuck Colson
2/27/2009
Change? What Change?
Back in 2006, when the Democrats took control of the House and the Senate, I praised them on BreakPoint for promising to clean up Congress. And especially for promising to put an end to the corrupt practice of earmarking—that’s when our elected representatives in Congress slip expenditures into the budgeting process without debate.
Well, I should have known better. This bunch of Democratic legislators is no better than the Republicans they ousted.
In fact, this year, in the midst of a financial crisis no less, the amount of pork in this year’s appropriations bill, passed this week, stinks to high heaven. Literally.
The New York Post reports, for example, that Congress has allocated $1.7 million for “swine odor and manure management research.”
How appropriate.
Senator Daniel Inouye, a longtime veteran of the Senate, managed to get the Polynesian Voyaging Society of Honolulu $238,000. For what? So it can organize “sea voyages in ancient-style sailing canoes like the ones that first brought settlers to Hawaii.”
That’s a great use of taxpayer money in the midst of what the White House is calling the most challenging economic crisis since the Great Depression.
The group Taxpayers for Common Sense claims that the current appropriations bill contains a whopping 8,750 earmarks, at a cost of $7.7 billion.
When confronted with their profligate spending, Democratic leaders defended themselves, according to the Post, by asserting that “up to 40 percent of the earmarks” came from the hands of Republican legislators.
Shame on me, again, for thinking the Republicans would have learned their lesson from the last two elections. They haven’t.
In one sense, earmarking is nothing but pure bribery in reverse. It’s a congressman’s or senator’s way of buying votes from the constituents back home.
The practice is an abomination. It violates the biblical understanding of the limited role of government—which is to preserve order and to promote justice—and it also rejects the principles on which our representative democracy was built.
As I’ve said on BreakPoint before, to America’s founders, lawmaking was supposed to be about advancing the common good—not wheeling and dealing in order to hold on to power. The Founders built into the Constitution checks and balances, in the words of the Federalist Papers, “to pit ambition against ambition and make it impossible for any elements of government to obtain unchecked power.” That’s precisely what we see happening with earmarks.
President Obama campaigned for change. And he’s been preaching the virtue of fiscal responsibility. Well, he now has a unique opportunity to bring those about. Senator McCain has reportedly urged the President to veto this pile of pork.
And I agree. What better way to signal real, substantial change in Washington than by vetoing a massive appropriations bill filled with earmarks?
If you agree with me, let the President and your legislators know we really do want change in Washington—and that means no more earmarks.
~
Get Unplugged
By Mark Earley
3/6/2009
Taking a Sabbath from Technology
Note: This commentary was delivered by PFM President Mark Earley.
Try this experiment: Shut down your computer, turn off your cell phone, unplug your iPod, hide your Blackberry, and click off the television. Then, pick up a book. Read for an hour. When you’re done, pull out a sheet of paper and write a letter. And then, go for a walk outside.
If you find this scenario difficult, you’re not alone. Mark Bittman, writing in the New York Times, describes taking a break from technology for an entire day: “I woke up nervous, eager for my laptop . . . I was jumpy, twitchy, uneven.”
According to a 2005 survey, most Americans—including children—spend at least nine hours a day watching TV, surfing the web, or talking on their cell phones. Of those hours, one-third of the time is spent using two or more of those media at once.
While technology has many worthwhile purposes, it demands a high price from us. Studies have shown that our increasing media dependency is crippling our attention spans, wounding our ability to create meaningful relationships, and generating a false expectation that we should be able to be contacted at every hour of the day.
Katie Dunne, a recent graduate of the University of Illinois, observed that while the Internet has made it easier for her to find information for class, it also made it easier for her fellow students to avoid face-to-face interactions with their professors—and with each other.
She wrote in her school newspaper: “It seems like the more advanced our technology becomes, the more likely we are to withdraw from the real world. The intimacy of conversation and the integrity of relationships are compromised by quick and cold forms of communication.”
But getting away from technology is easier said than done. Many of us couldn’t do our jobs if it weren’t for computers, cell phones, and PDAs. But here’s the problem—when we leave work, technology is following close behind us in a constant stream of text messages, Facebook posts, and emails. We’ve become addicts to the god of information.
So, here’s a challenge—take a technology sabbath.
Joe Carter—editor of the Evangelical Outpost blog—recently began making one day of his week completely technology free.
He writes on Boundless.org: “After drinking from the fire hose of information a day without info tech will seem like a year long drought. But by unplugging the god of Technology you might just find something new in the pause—a still small voice sharing the information that truly matters.”
But like anything worthwhile, taking a break from technology takes practice and patience. Here are some of Carter’s tips on making a technology sabbath worthwhile.
First, make sure to give yourself a full 24 hours, preferably from sundown to sundown. Let people know that you are unplugging, so they understand why you are not responding to them right away. Lastly, dedicate some of the time to practicing spiritual disciplines like prayer, Bible study, and attending a worship service.
In the meantime, meet a friend for coffee. And leave your Blackberry at home.
For Further Reading and Information
Joe Carter, “Info-Techno Sabbath: Unplugging the God of Information Technology,” Boundless, 27 September 2007.
Mark Bittman, “I Need a Virtual Break. No, Really,” New York Times, 2 March 2008.
Alisa Harris, “The Suffering of a Tech-Free Lent,” WorldMagBlog, 2 March 2008.
“Sleepless in America: And That's No (Red) Bull,” BreakPoint Commentary, 1 August 2008.
“Rediscovering Sabbath Rest: God Created Rest, Too,” BreakPoint Commentary, 18 March 2008.
“Congress’ Porky Pols Pig Out on Fine $wine,” New York Post, 26 February 2009.
“$7.7 Billion In Earmarks In 2009 Omnibus Spending Bill,” Taxpayers for Common Sense, 24 February 2009.
“House Passes Spending Bill, and Critics Are Quick to Point Out Pork,” New York Times, 25 February 2009.
“Feeding Frenzy: Stimulating Times for Lobbyists,” BreakPoint Commentary, 20 February 2009.
“The Peril of Disregarding the Past: Liberalism and Conservatism,” BreakPoint Commentary, 16 February 2009.
“Giving Them a Pass: Pragmatism over Principle,” BreakPoint Commentary, 28 January 2009.
“From Earmarking to Phonemarking: Still Serving Pork,” BreakPoint Commentary, 29 May 2007.
© 2009 Prison Fellowship - - http://www.breakpoint.org/
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Residents of Columbia County Arkansas are represented in Congress by:
Senator Blanche Lambert Lincoln (D- AR)
Phone 202-224-4843
FAX 202-228-1371
http://lincoln.senate.gov/contact/email.cfm
~
Senator Mark Pryor (D- AR)
Phone 202-224-2353
FAX 202-228-0908
http://pryor.senate.gov/contact/
~
Representative Michael A. Ross (D - 04)
Phone 202-225-3772
FAX 202-225-1314
http://ross.house.gov/?sectionid=77§iontree=7677
Other states congresspersons can be found at: [http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/]
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
hermetic: airtight; protected
nocuous: harmful
beseech: ask for earnestly
peculate: appropriate fraudulently
openhanded: giving freely
declaim: speak against
hidebound: stubbornly conservative
pedant: person holding books in esteem
lampoon: composition that imitates or misrepresents someone's style
sanguine: optimistic, cheerful
acute: serious; pervasive
temerity: unreasonable or foolhardy contempt of danger.
parry: deflect a blow
martial: pertaining to war
bilk: defraud, cheat, or swindle.
from http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/
~~~~~
Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that. - Michael Leunig
Profits, like sausages... are esteemed most by those who know least about what goes into them. - Alvin Toffler
Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty. - Stephen King
To find yourself, think for yourself - Socrates
It's not the genius who is 100 years ahead of his time but average man who is 100 years behind it. - Robert Musil
Troubles impending always seem worse than troubles surmounted, but this does not prove that they really are. - Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr.
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. - Will Rogers
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. - Ogden Nash
"You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." - Albert Camus
Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame. - Alexander Pope
"It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade." - Charles Dickens
"An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't." - Anatole France
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices." - William James
"It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it." - John Steinbeck
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/
Dr James Dobson Resigns as Focus on the Family Chairman
by Aimee Herd : Feb 27, 2009 : AP Staff – AP, USA Today
"One of the common errors of founder-presidents is to hold to the reins of leadership too long, thereby preventing the next generation from being prepared for executive authority. Though letting go is difficult after three decades of intensive labor, it is the wise thing to do."
(Denver, CO)—According to an AP report on Friday, Dr. James Dobson is stepping down from his position as Chairman of Focus on the Family, although he plans to maintain a "prominent role" at the organization.
Dobson had reportedly made his decision known to the board on Wednesday, but let the 950 Focus employees know his intent on Friday morning, during the monthly worship service.
Dobson founded the well-known Christian-based organization over 3 decades ago to provide parenting and marriage advice, and—mostly in the last decade—to offer a moral stand politically. (Photo: AP/USA Today)
The familiar host of the popular Focus on the Family radio program will continue in that role, until the "next voice for the next generation" can grab the baton.
[http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=6430 ]
310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426
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GCF: Scented Candles for Men
Emailed to me by a friend who wanted to remain anonymous. -Tom (You know who you are ... Thanks for sharing!)
If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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It seems in this day and time you can't go into an area dominated by a woman without detecting the 'aroma' (odorous terribilis) of some kind of bizarre scented candle. Everything from 'Boysenberry Vanilla Potpourri' to 'Spice Orange Jasmine Chocolate'. Sometimes it gives me a headache!
Well, it's about time men had their own scented candles. Below you will find a few scents men would appreciate.
'62 Chevy truck - Interior and Exhaust
Gunpowder
Wet Dog (only if it's your own dog)
Frying Bacon (actually, a lot of different fried foods)
Wood Smoke
Chainsaw Exhaust
Freshly Caught Bass
Ozone (arc welder, of course)
Acetylene
Freshly Moved Dirt
Silage
Sawdust
New Tires
Hot Metal
3 Year Old Cap
Ammonia Fertilizer (light, of course)
Burning Grass or Leaves
Alfalfa
Firecrackers
Latex Paint
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GCF: Good Spelling
Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Everyone knows I'm a stickler for good spelling. So when an associate e-mailed technical documents asking me to "decifer" them, I had to set him straight.
"Decipher is spelled with a 'ph', not an 'f'," I wrote. "In case you've forgotten, spell checker comes free with your Microsoft program."
A minute later his reply: "Must be dephective."
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GCF: Out of Memory Error
Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld) -Tom http://blogs.computerworld.com/out_of_memory_error?source=NLT_SHARK
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This IT Technician handles support for a big manufacturing plant, and part of that responsibility is taking support calls 24/7.
"The very first time I took a middle-of-the-night support call I was a little groggy, being awakened by the phone at 3:30 in the morning," Tech says.
"But I quickly woke up and asked questions of the night operator, then talked him through restarting processes and verifying things were working again, right down to telling him which button to click on, what to type and what passwords to put in.
"Typical IT support stuff, and the phone call lasted just over 20 minutes.
"When I turned the light back off and pulled the covers back over me, my loving wife rolled over toward me and said, 'You can remember all that and you can't remember to take the garbage out on Tuesdays?'
"I didn't sleep much the rest of that night."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Do-It-Yourself Tips For Real Men
Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Leak stain on ceiling: Cut a piece of plywood into a square. Nail it over the stain. Put a handle on it. Tell everyone it's the door to your attic. (Not recommended for basement apartments).
Crabgrass: In one corner of your lawn, assemble your mower, rake, shovel and weed killer. Using right index finger, dial any asphalt company. Have them come over and pave your lawn -- mower, rake, shovel and weed killer included.
Cigarette burn on rug: Cut one lemon in half. Squeeze juice into large glass of gin mixed 50-50 with tonic. Add ice. Drink enough glasses of this solution until burn becomes blurry. Move couch over mark.
Dirty paint brushes: Soak brushes in pail of paint remover. Read paint remover directions carefully. Notice they say solvent should not be inhaled. Move brushes and can to airy place -- like the backyard. Notice that solvent can kill grass. Move can and brushes up off lawn onto suitable surface like, say, barbecue. Now notice that solvent is highly flammable.
Annoying drips:
Don't invite them over anymore.
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GCF: My Fortune
Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his expensive wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel."
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents."
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $9.80."
"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
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GCF: Gambling
Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
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GCF: Dating Again
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Erica) -Tom
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After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to start, so I decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but I put off calling them.
Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine from my ex-wife. "I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don't call the one in the second column. It's me."
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GCF: Jogging Group
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Shortly thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 AM jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said, "I've discovered what 'runner's euphoria' is."
When we questioned this he explained, "Runner's euphoria is what I experience at 5:30 AM on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Honorary Degree
Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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A rich Texan walked into the offices of the president of a small Texas college and said, "I'd like to donate a million dollars tax free to this institution. But there's a condition - I would like to have an honorary degree."
The president nodded agreeably, "That's not a problem. We can certainly arrange that!"
The rich man then added, "An honorary degree for my horse."
"For your horse???"
"Yep, you betcha. She carried me for many years and I owe her a lot. I'd like her to receive a Tr.D., a Doctor of Transportation."
"But, we can't give a degree to a horse!"
"Then I'm afraid I'll have to take my million dollars to another institution."
"Well, wait a minute," said the president, seeing the million slip through his fingers, "let me consult with the school's trustees."
A hurried trustee meeting was brought to order and the president related the deal and the condition. All of the board reacted with shock and disbelief, except the oldest trustee. He appeared to be almost asleep.
One trustee snorted, "We can't give a horse an honorary degree, no matter HOW much money is involved."
The oldest trustee opened his eyes and said, "Take the money and give the horse the degree."
The president asked, "Don't you think that would make us look ridiculous?"
"Of course not," the wise old trustee said. "It would be an honor. It'd be the first time we ever gave a degree to an ENTIRE horse."
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GCF: Laundry Comments
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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A young couple moved into a new neighborhood.
The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean," she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap." Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"
The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."
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(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ /My mother said, "You won't amount\ /
\ _/ to anything because you \_ /
/ / procrastinate." \ \
I said, "Just wait."
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I never repeat gossip, \ /
\ _/ so please listen carefully \_ /
/ / the first time. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Hard work never killed anybody, \ /
\ _/ but why take a chance? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Xylophataquieopiaphobia: \ /
\ _/ the fear of not pronouncing \_ /
/ / words correctly. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Does the Alphabet Song and \ \_/ ////
\ / Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star \ /
\ _/ have the same tune? \_ /
/ / Why did you just try singing the two \ \
songs above? (they are the same tune,
and it was written by Mozart)
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Yogurt is one of only three \ \_/ ////
\ / foods that taste \ /
\ _/ the way they sound. \_ /
/ / The other two are goulash and squid. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Some days you are the bug. \ /
\ _/ Some days you are the windshield. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / There's a fine line between \ /
\ _/ fishing and standing on \_ /
/ / the shore looking like an idiot. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Your cat does love you! \ /
\ _/ It's just hidden beneath \_ /
/ / a veil of contempt. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Some people can tell what \ \_/ ////
\ / time it is by looking at the \ /
\ _/ sun, but I have never been \_ /
/ / able to make out the numbers. \ \
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_| ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Bible Sales
If this doesn't make you laugh just go ahead and close your casket!!!
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious Financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some Bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louis, the Minister decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked With Bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of Their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately Asked Jack, 'Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our Bibles last Week?'
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, 'Using my sales Prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church.'
'Fine job, Jack!' The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. 'You Are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you.'
Turning to Paul, 'And Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the Church Last week?'
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, 'I am a Professional salesman. I sold 28 Bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected.'
The minister responded, 'That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you.'
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, 'And Louie, did You manage to sell any Bibles last week?' Louie silently offered the Minister a large envelope.
The minister opened it and counted the contents. 'What is this?' the minister exclaimed. 'Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you Suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the church, door to door, in Just one week?'
Louie just nodded. That's impossible!' both Jack and Paul said in Unison. 'We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 Times as many Bibles as we could.'
'Yes, this does seem unlikely,' said the minister who didn't want to offend Louie. Please, tell us how you managed to accomplish this, Louie.'
Louie shrugged. 'I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for Sh-sh-sh-sure,' he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. 'For crying out loud, Louie, just tell Us what you said to them when they answered the door!'
'A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said WA-WA-was,' Louis replied,
'W-w-w-w-would Y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this B-B-B-B-Bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??'
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Easy as pie. NOT.
I drove like 25 miles to a friends house, with chainsaw in hand. Then I pulled on said chainsaw for like 30 pulls before the wench started. (forgot to check the gas). Then I put on my gloves after I torn the blister I got from trying to start the chainsaw that didn't have gas. Ok smarty your sitting there saying "why didn't you check the gas". Well someone borrowed the dang thang and I didn't know they had used up all the gas. So anyway back to my story. For over 2 very grueling hours I cut into sections this big old oak that needed to fall. Then its hernia time.
That wood isn't going to crawl in the back of my truck. So ole Dave picks up these blocks of wood and loads them. Some of them had to weigh like 3000 pounds. Then its 25 miles back to the house. Now I have a whole tree to split......with a wood maul. After several almost cutting my legs off "bad swings" and 6 hours (non stop) I don't count PP'in, I get her done. But now I have to stack about a core of firewood (thats a lot of wood).
When I finish I take about 30 pieces of wood into the house and stack them there along with about 50 pieces stack right outside the patio door. Exhausted I sit down. Then the wife walks in and gets one of those starter logs and puts it in the fireplace along with some firewood. She strikes the match to the starter log and says "Aren't fireplaces nice....its so easy to build a fire". I fall out of my chair.
Thanks to David Childs
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The Aisle Seat
Two Radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat... Just before takeoff, a U.S.. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, 'I need to get up and get a coke.' 'Don't get up,' said the Marine, 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'
As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good, I'd really like one, too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors... 'Why does it have to be this way?' 'How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and cokes?'
THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE MARINES!
Thanks to Gary Foreman
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King Arthur and the Witch:
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.
But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now....what is the moral to this story? If you don't let a woman have her own way...
Things are going to get ugly
Thanks to Waneta
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Actual bloopers from church bulletins. All names have been changed to John or Jane Doe to protect the innocent.
* For Father’s Day each father present was given a pine tree or apple tree seedling to be planted along with his children.
* The Lord commanded Peter to Feed my sleep.
* "Help blow up and decorate the church with balloons on Easter morning. Meet at 7:30 am to help. Won’t take long!"
* Please be in prayer for Jim and Judy, their baby daughter was born 9 months premature.
* The Women’s Missionary Union will meet the first yesterday in January.
* Sunday we’ll have a special day to honor our youngsters for their schoolarship.
* The Rev. Dr. John Doe, our featured speaker for the breakfast, also blessed and blessed and blessed and blessed the meal.
* Women on Missions (WOMS) will meet Thursday at noon. Childhood will be provided in the nursery.
* The scholarship committee is accepting applications for church members attending a Baptist affiliated college this fall. Applications and guidelines are available in the vestibule. The Appalachians should be submitted by July 1st.
* We will vote on six new deacons next Sunday. The following ordained men have agreed to serve if elated.
* Jane Doe, who attends the Singles class, shared with me that she is walking in the Multiple Sclerosis walk-a thong. Let’s support her effort.
* Dr. Doe was the featured speaker for the Seniors Group. He noted that you can often avoid those usual winter colds if you avoid fatigue, loss of sleep and over-creating.
* The Pastor is a member of the Lions Club and co-chair of the county fair board this year. He urges everyone to attend and support this important community fundraising event and join him in working to have a successful affair.
* You’re invited to join the Sunset Club, our church seniors group. Activities include community singing, dancing, dramatic efforts, and table games. The group is composed solely of participanting members.
* Gams were enjoyed by the Young Marrieds Class at the home of John and Jane Doe.
* Members of the Senior’s Breakfast Club stretched and strained Thursday morning as John Doe, local physical therapist, demonstrated several exercises during the club meeting. There will be no meeting next week.
* Remember the annual spring cleaning of the Singles Ministry Building this Saturday. We need lots of singles to volunteer for the work crew. We have a long list of items to be cleaned. The widows need extra attention.
Thanks to Waneta
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BLONDE LOGIC - - Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'
The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????'
CAR TROUBLE - - A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
SPEEDING TICKET - - A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
RIVER WALK - - There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank
'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE - - A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. 'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.
She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING - - A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
THE SUN - - A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot!
You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
IN A VACUUM - - A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! - - A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs!'
Thanks To David Lamb
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Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words.. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."
They throw the switch and nothing happens.. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words.
"I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."
They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.
Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one (you knew it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in.
Thanks to Gary Foreman
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A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bon es with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are anymore around here?
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the entire scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!'
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says:
'Where's that monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!'
Moral of this story....
Don't mess with old crabby guys and gals... Age and treachery will always overcome
youth and skill! BS and Brilliance only come with age and experience.
Thanks to Gary Foreman
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Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago , another is from Tennessee , and the third is from Minnesota .
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring , then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”
The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”
The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.”
The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”
The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.”
“Done!” replies the government official.
And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.
Thanks to David Lamb
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POOR FRED
A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor and asked the woman who answered the door, "Is Fred home?"
"Sorry, Fred's gone for cotton."
The next day the bill collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?"
"No, sir. I'm afraid he has gone for cotton."
When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again,?"
"No, Fred died yesterday."
Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and check the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with the inscription, "Gone, But Not for
Cotton."
Thanks to Waneta
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VERY INTERESTING STUFF
In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'
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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'.. .and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.
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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.
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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
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Coca-Cola was originally green.
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It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:
$ 16,400
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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:
61,000
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair..
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The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.
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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
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111,111,111 x
111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes
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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
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Q.. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?
A. One thousand
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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...'Goodnight , sleep tight'
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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'
It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'v
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Many years ago in
England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill , they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.
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I cdnuolt blveiee
taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
Thanks to Waneta
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Why Men Are (Justifiably) Proud of Themselves
1. We know stuff about guns
2. A 2-week trip requires only one suitcase
3. We can open all our own jars
4. We can go to the bathroom without a support group
5. We don't have to learn to spell a new last name
6. We can leave a motel bed unmade
7. We can kill our own food
8. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thought-fulness
9. Wedding plans take care of themselves
10. If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend
11. Underwear is $10 a three-pack
12. If you are 34 and single nobody notices
13. Everything on our faces stays the original color
14. Three pair of shoes are more than enough
15. We don't have to clean the house if the meter reader is coming
16. Car mechanics tell us the truth
17. We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."
18. Same work-more pay
19. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character
20. We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift
21. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just might become lifelong friends
22. Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
23. We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors
24. We almost never have a "strap problem" in public
25. We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes
26. The same hairstyle lasts for years-maybe decades
27. We don't have to shave below the neck
28. A few belches are expected and tolerated
29. Our belly usually hides our big hips
30. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons
31. We can do our nails with a pocketknife
32. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache
33. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the day before Christmas and in 45 minutes
Thanks To Waneta
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GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was ' DON'T !'
'Don 't what ? ' Adam replied.
'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said.
'Forbidden fruit ? We have forbidden fruit ? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! '
' No Way ! '
'Yes way ! '
'Do NOT eat the fruit ! ' said God.
'Why ? '
'Because I am your Father and I said so ! '
God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked !
'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? ' God asked.
'Uh huh,' Adam replied.
'Then why did you ? ' said the Father.
'I don't know,' said Eve.
'She started it! ' Adam said.
'Did not ! '
'Did too ! '
'DID NOT ! '
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!
Thanks to Waneta
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Looking for Wife
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Walmart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"
The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
To which the first old guy says, "Don't remember, let's look for yours."
Received from Natasha Jones.
(-:][:-)
Poisoned Coffee
A woman was on the witness stand, accused of poisoning her husband.
"After you put poison in the coffee, you sat at the breakfast table and watched your husband drink it. Tell me, didn't you feel the slightest bit of pity for him?" the defense attorney prompted.
"Yes," she replied, "I think there was one moment when I felt sorry for him."
"And when was that?"
"When he asked for his second cup."
Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
(-:][:-)
Lone Ranger and Tonto Went Camping
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto woke the Lone Ranger and said, "Kemo Sabe, look at sky. What you see?"
The Lone Ranger replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger pondered for a minute and then said, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"
"You dumber than buffalo patties. It mean someone stole tent!"
Received from Ward Attaway.
(-:][:-)
If...
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and dry cleaners depressed?
Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company will be debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose.
On a more positive note, though, perhaps we can hope politicians will be devoted.
Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
(-:][:-)
Wedding Vows
My dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.
He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband?" And she said, "I do."
Then the minister asked my dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife?" And my mom said, "He does."
Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
(-:][:-)
Catholic Shampoo?
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer. The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it. The first nun replied that she would handle it without a problem.
She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier had a surprised look, so the nun said, "This is for washing our hair."
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer, and said, "The curlers are on me."
Received from Paula Sanning.
(-:][:-)
Suspicious Phone Call
My mom got a suspicious phone call from a large bookstore retailer here in town. "Ma'am, we are just calling to tell you that your book has arrived. Would you like to come in and pick it up?"
Not to be taken in by just another marketing ploy to get her to buy something she never ordered, she replied, "Really! Well, then, what is the title?"
There was a long pause on the other line and then quite a string of hums and hahs. Mother's smug smile widened with every pause, while she thought, I've outsmarted them!
Finally a response: "Well, uh, the title is uh, 'How to Improve Your Short-Term Memory.'"
"Oh!" (pause) "Well, in that case, I'd better be right over!"
When she got there, they all had a good-natured laugh about it.
Received from Daniel Foutz.
(-:][:-)
Kenya Elephant
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Over twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over so it was close to where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times and then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs, and slammed him against the enclosure railing.
It probably wasn't the same elephant.
(-:][:-)
New Car
The first Sunday after my husband and I bought a new car, we parked it in the last row of the church lot, not wanting to be ostentatious.
While talking with friends after the service, my husband accidentally hit the panic button on his electronic key. Immediately our car's horn blared and its lights flashed.
Watching my husband fumble with the button, his friend teased, "Wouldn't it have been in better taste to just put a few lines in the church bulletin?"
Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
(-:][:-)
How Times Have Changed
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his gun rack.
1957 - The vice principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car, and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - The school goes into lockdown, the FBI is called, and Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class and disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey is sent to the office and is given a good paddling by the principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt the class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie and is tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a spanking with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom falls for the psychologist.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.
Received from Zach.
(-:][:-)
-=+=-
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - Valentine’s Day Verse (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)
Valentine’s Day is coming up — an ideal topic for my very overdue limerick and a haiku (senryu) prompt. First, my limerick:
St. Valentine’s Day’s coming soon.
It’s a choc’late and rose-sellers’ boon.
Will your loved one come through
And make festive ado?
Or just buy you a five-buck balloon?
And now my haiku (senryu):
St. Valentine’s Day—
One day each February?
No. Daily each year.
© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
1st Published Bridge News
http://www.madkane.com/
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Not everyone agrees on this but the quote "trading liberty for security" sure scares me!!
FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE
"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not." ~Thomas Jefferson
FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE
1. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
2. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
3. Colt: The original point and click interface.
4. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
5. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords and IEDs?
6. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
7. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
8. If you don't know your rights, you don't have any.
9. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
10. The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights Reserved.
11. What part of 'shall not be infringed' do you NOT understand?
12. The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.
13. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
14. Guns have only two enemies; rust and politicians.
15. Know guns, know peace, know safety. No guns, no peace, no safety.
16. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
17. 911: Government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.
18. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
19. Criminals love gun control; it makes their jobs safer.
20. If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.
21. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.
22. You have only the rights you are willing to fight for.
23. Enforce the gun control laws we ALREADY have; don't make more.
24. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
25. The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.
Thanks to Gary Foreman
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A trip down memory lane for older youngsters !!!
OLDER THAN DIRT
'Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'
'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him. 'All the food was slow.'
'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'
'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained. 'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 5. It was, of course, black and white,
I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.' When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.
We didn't have a car until I was 4. It was an old black Dodge.
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning. On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing
Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?
MEMORIES from a friend:
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I a m old.
How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signa ls.
Older Than Dirt Quiz: Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about
1 Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with table side juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P. F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S& H green stamps
16. Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
20. Packard's
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebaker's
25. Wash tub wringers
If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!
I might be older than dirt but those memories are the best part of my life.
Thanks to Alita Ingram
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DIVORCE AGREEMENT
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM. OUTSTANDING.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum-Ba-Ya" or "We Are the World."
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 1-5 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
Thanks to Gary Foreman
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Vol 14, Number 12
25 Feb 2009
Buying a Computer / Netbooks / AntiSpam Tools / DVR Options / Solid State Hard Drives In today's TOURBUS, you'll find out if your computer is obsolete, and how to buy a new one. We'll also take a look at the netbook laptops - are they right for you? If you're drowning in spam, you'll love my free anti-spam tools and tips. You'll also learn about TiVo and other DVR options, and all about solid state hard drives. Read on!
Do You Need A New Computer?
Is your computer obsolete? A few years ago I saw a cartoon of a guy proudly driving home with his brand new state-of-the-art 386 computer in the back seat. In the background was a huge billboard advertising the 486. The message: his computer was obsolete before he even got it home.
Technology is always changing... so how do you know when it really is time to buy a new computer? With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, "You Might Need To Buy A New Computer If..."
NEED A NEW COMPUTER? [http://askbobrankin.com/do_i_need_a_new_computer.html]
How to Buy a Computer
The good news is that computer prices tend to go down, while the computing power you get for your money goes up. I don't recommend used computers for anyone, because the rate of change of technology will render most systems nearly obsolete within three years.
So if you're wondering what kind of computer, monitor, hard drive, memory, and operating system to get... here are my recommendations for a new computer...
BUYING A COMPUTER [http://askbobrankin.com/how_to_buy_a_computer.html]
Netbook: Enough Computer For You?
Maybe you've been thinking about a netbook for a student, or for business travel. They are cheaper and easier to carry around, but can they do everything the larger laptops do? Find out if a netbook can replace your standard laptop, and which features are typically lacking on the minis.
Is a netbook the right choice for you. Get the scoop, along with my reviews of netbook computers...
NETBOOK LAPTOPS [http://askbobrankin.com/mini_laptops.html]
Free Anti-Spam Tools
A few years ago, spam was just a pain to deal with. But as the popularity of the Internet grows spam is becoming more of a threat than a bother. Today, spam is used by cyber criminals to transmit spyware, trojans, worms and viruses to new hosts.
Fortunately, there are many ways you can combat both the annoying and malicious varieties of spam, with free anti-spam tools and techniques...
ANTI-SPAM TOOLS [http://askbobrankin.com/free_antispam_tools.html]
Which DVR is Best?
The time has come to take over your television. Using a DVR, you can record your favorite shows, pause and rewind during viewing, and even skip the commercials. You want a DVR like your friends, but you're not sure how to go about it.
Should you get a TiVo, a store-bought DVR, or the DVR service offered by your TV provider? Read on for the pros and cons of each...
DVR OPTIONS [http://askbobrankin.com/which_dvr_should_i_get.html]
Solid State Hard Drives
A solid state hard drive, or SSD, is the next revolution in computer hard drive technology. These drives have no moving parts, and will eventually replace the standard hard drive that uses a spindle and platter. There are significant advantages to using an SSD, but two important factors are currently keeping the SSD from taking over the hard drive market for laptop and desktop computers.
Read on to learn the advantages and disadvantages of using a solid state hard drive...
Solid State Drives [http://askbobrankin.com/solid_state_hard_drives.html]
~
TOURBUS Vol 14, Number 13
04 Mar 2009
Pirate Bay / Bittorrent / TiVo / Free Anti-Virus In today's TOURBUS, three Swedish pirates prepare to walk the plank! You'll learn about Bittorrent, and the dangers of digital downloading. Could YOU get sued for file sharing? I've also got an intro to TiVo, reviews of three free anti-virus programs, and a new Top Twenty. Read on!
Pirate Bay - Grand Theft Audio?
In 2003, three young men from Sweden created a website called The Pirate Bay, which is essentially a catalog of all the illegal downloads available on the Internet. The site helps people search for and download copyrighted music, movies, TV shows and software. But this pirate ship may be sinking. In a trial that just concluded, the operators were portrayed as criminals for "promoting other people's infringements of copyright laws".
The defendants could face jail time and massive fines. But what about the users who did the downloading... will the authorities come after them (or you) next?
PIRATE BAY [http://askbobrankin.com/is_pirate_bay_sinking.html]
Download With Bittorrent?
BitTorrent is a peer-to-peer file sharing platform designed to deliver large files over the over the web. In a nutshell, BitTorrent speeds up the download time by getting smaller chunks of large files from many different sources.
Although the technology is marvelous, it has become the most popular tool for the distribution of pirated digital content such as films, music, games, and software. Learn how Bittorrent works, where to get the software, and potential legal issues...
Intro to Bittorrent [http://askbobrankin.com/download_with_bittorrent.html]
What is TiVo?
There's no doubt that something has impacted popular culture when it becomes a verb. Xerox, Google, and now Tivo are all action words. So if you haven't yet gotten with the program, literally, maybe now is the time to join almost four million others and take control of your television.
Is TiVo just a glorified VCR, or is it really a revolutionary new way to watch television? Get the scoop on TiVo here...
WHAT IS TIVO? [http://askbobrankin.com/what_is_tivo.html]
Free Anti-Virus Alternatives
It's easy to be confused by all the free antivirus products. Some people swear that Avira is the best, others claim that AVG or Avast is definitely the way to go. They all start with "A" and claim over 50 million users. According to AV-Test, Avira detects 99.8% of all malware, and does well at avoiding false positives.
But AVG and Avast have their own strong points, too. Read my reviews of all three, along with reader comments, and choose the one that's right for you.
AVIRA ANTI-VIRUS [http://askbobrankin.com/avira_free_antivirus.html]
AVAST ANTI-VIRUS [http://askbobrankin.com/avast_free_antivirus.html]
AVG ANTI-VIRUS [http://askbobrankin.com/avg_review.html]
The Top Twenty
Casey Kasem has the Top 40 locked up, so I've decided to stick to with the Top Twenty. Every so often I go through the logs and see which articles were the most popular. So here are some selections from the current Top Twenty, ranked by readership volume.
Check 'em out, post your own pithy comments, and use the handy "Send this article to a friend" link in each article so your friends will be almost as smart as you!
TOP TWENTY
#1Send a Free Fax
#2Convert Itunes to MP3 Format
#3Make Windows XP Run Faster
#4Free Satellite TV on PC
#5Do I Need a Registry Cleaner?
#6Low Virtual Memory
etc.
[http://askbobrankin.com/the_top_twenty.html]
~
Try LEO-nomics to Reduce the Deficit
All the economic turmoil is a good reminder that we need to take CONTROL of OUR OWN FINANCIAL SITUATION. My good friend Leo Quinn has a ridiculously simple plan that can virtually guarantee that you will be debt free in 10 years or less -- including your mortgage. He's helped over 18,212 people do exactly that. I call it LEO-nomics, he calls it "How To Own Your Paycheck Again!"
Leo has a special offer for TOURBUS riders that will help you get out of debt, and protect yourself from the economic downturn. Don't wait for a government bailout, start making smart choices today - click below to learn more...
TAKE CONTROL! [http://www.leoquinn.com/b/bobrankin/index.html]
POPULAR ARTICLES
• Send a Free Fax [http://askbobrankin.com/send_a_free_fax.html]
Learn how to send and receive faxes for free, using online fax services.
• Make Windows Run Faster [http://askbobrankin.com/make_windows_xp_run_faster.html]
Here's my special recipe to clean that icky goo out of your computer's pipes, so Windows will start quicker, run more reliably, and go faster on the info-superhighway.
• Free Satellite TV? [http://askbobrankin.com/free_satellite_tv_on_pc.html]
Can this software download really give you free satellite TV broadcasts on your PC?
• Free Internet Security Software [http://askbobrankin.com/should_i_buy_antispyware_or_antivirus_software.html]
Staying safe on the Internet doesn't have to cost big bucks. Here are my recommendations for the best FREE anti-virus, anti-spyware, and popup blocker software.
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The more you use your computer, the slower it will get. Research shows, that after only months of use, your PC will be performing at just a fraction of its original performance.
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+ ------------------------------------- +
That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin
+ ------------------------------------- +
====[ Tourbus Rider Information ]====
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.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.
Friday Blog Roundup
February 27, 2009 in Blog roundup | by Liz Borkowski | No comments
Bloggers have lots of thoughts on Obama’s budget:
Merrill Goozner [http://www.gooznews.com/archives/001342.html] at GoozNews gives us the big picture
~
Maggie Mahar [http://www.healthbeatblog.com/2009/02/the-presidents-budget-funding-healthcare-by-redistributing-income-universal-coverage-remains-a-stiff.html] at Health Beat explores the challenges of the budget’s approach to healthcare
~
Ezra Klein [http://www.prospect.org/csnc/blogs/ezraklein_archive?month=02&year=2009&base_name=obamas_health_care_plan_expect] explains how it addresses the question of an individual mandate for health insurance
~
Sarah Rubenstein [http://blogs.wsj.com/health/2009/02/26/budget-boosts-fda-loan-repayments-for-docs-and-nurses/] at WSJ’s Health Blog highlights proposed spending on food safety, the healthcare workforce, cancer, and autism
~
Emily Douglas [http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/blog/2009/02/26/presidents-2010-budget-overview-includes-medicaid-family-planning-expansion] at RH Reality Check examines reproductive-health related items
~
Kate Sheppard [http://gristmill.grist.org/story/2009/2/26/91856/9757] at Gristmill gives us a rundown of the environmental provisions
http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
The good? The bad? Or the ulterior motive?
For anyone who has a genuine interest in reforming workplace safety for the greater good of our workforce and protecting it, the story of Travis Koehler's tragic death and what followed should not be far from your mind. For those of you who are in need of the ever so quick refresher.... Back on Feb 2, 2006 while working for Boyd Gaming Travis Koehler and another coworker David Snow were ordered by one of their superiors back into an unsafe manhole where a third worker (Richard Luzier)lay unconscious in an attempt to rescue him. Sadly the attempted rescue would end even more tragically claiming the life of young Travis Koehler as well. And with David Snow just barely escaping clinging to life in critical condition from his injuries. However this would just be the beginning to what would quickly become one of Nevada's most well known cases of corruption. From illegal contributions to the reasoning behind having someone from governor Jim Gibbons office, M. Elliott sit in on OSHA hearings. For which the governors office is currently being probed by the Attorney Generals office for their involvement and actions surrounding this very unusual case. Now here's where my questioning comes in... Immediately following the news that Debi Fergen (Travis' mother) had filed suit on her son's behalf in this case. Within 24 hours the governors office had released a statement claiming that they were cleared by the Attorney Generals office of any wrongdoing by sitting in on the case. Which we would learn was untrue the following day in yet another article where the governors office made claims that the previous statement was nothing more than a simple mistake from a new employee who accidentally released an untrue statement while rushing to get his job done. Of course it doesn't take a rocket scientist to connect the dots to see that this was nothing more then an attempt to put up a political smokescreen between the public and the upcoming trial. But the governors office has taken it a step further now when It contacted the family of Travis Koehler to announce that the Governor, Jim Gibbons, had just signed a proclamation to officially proclaim February 2, 2009, as a day to honor these two heroes, TRAVIS WAYNE KOEHLER AND DAVID A. SNOW DAY. On the one hand I for one find this to be a great thing as both these men deserve to be honored for their actions but on the other hand I just can't help but see that there is something else of not necessarily a good nature going on here. Beginning with the fact that Koehler's family was notified yet the Snow family was not. Why keep them in the dark about this? According to the governors office they simply did not know how to contact the Snow family due to a lack of correct contact information. Claiming that they had made several attempts to contact the Snow's via the telephone as well as through the mail using the last known address and telephone number of the family which by the way has not changed. So what does this all mean are we to believe that whomever was in charge of contacting the two families has a case of slight dyslexia and just miss-dialed the Snows phone number while incorrectly addressing their mail notification. Which I suppose would result in their proclamation being lost in the mail? Or is it simply that the governors office is only worried about distracting the family of Travis Koehler as they present the biggest threat in proving that the governors office is in fact guilty of helping one of their campaign's most generous financial contributors to escape justice? As much as I wish that I could have faith in good, I have seen far too much of the bad, so it has become next to impossible to prevent myself from questioning the ulterior motive. What I need now are your thoughts. Don't
let me down .
Mary
http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/
01. Staff Sgt. Timothy P. Davis, 28, of Aberdeen, Wash., died Feb. 20 near Bagram, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when his vehicle encountered an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 23rd Special Tactics Squadron, Hurlburt Field, Fla.
02. PFC Cwislyn K. Walter, 19, of Honolulu died Feb. 19 in Kuwait City, Kuwait, of injuries sustained from a non-combat related incident. She was assigned to the 29th Special Troops Battalion, 29th Infantry Brigade Combat Team of the Hawaii National Guard.
The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom.
03. Staff Sgt. Jeremy E. Bessa, 26, of Woodridge IL, died Feb. 20, in Khordi, Afghanistan, when his military vehicle was struck by an improvised explosive device followed by small arms fire attack by enemy forces.
04. Master Sgt. David L. Hurt, 36, of Tucson, AZ, died Feb. 20, in Kandahar, Afghanistan, from wounds received during the same incident.
They were assigned to 1st Battalion, 3rd Special Forces Group (Airborne), Fort Bragg, N.C.
05. Staff Sgt. Mark C. Baum, 32, of Telford, Pa., died Feb. 21 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered earlier that day when enemy forces attacked his unit using small arms fire in Mushada, Iraq. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 111th Infantry Regiment, 56th Stryker Brigade Combat Team of the Pennsylvania Army National Guard.
The Department of Defense announced today the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Feb. 23 in Balad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit using small arms fire. They were assigned to the 5th Squadron, 1st Cavalry Regiment, 1st Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.
Killed were:
06. Cpl. Michael L. Mayne, 21, of Burlington Flats, N.Y.,
07. Cpl. Micheal B. Alleman, 31, of Logan, Utah, and
08. Cpl. Zachary R. Nordmeyer, 21, of Indianapolis, Ind.
09. 1st Lt. William E. Emmert, 36, of Lincoln, Tenn., died Feb. 24 in Mosul, Iraq, of wounds suffered when he was shot while participating in a local Iraqi Police function.
He was assigned to the 269th Military Police Company, 117th Military Police Battalion, Murfreesboro, Tenn.
The Department of Defense announced today the death of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Feb. 24 in Kandahar, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle. Killed were:
10. Capt. Brian M. Bunting, 29, of Potomac, Md. He was a member of the Individual Ready Reserve, assigned to the 27th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, Syracuse, N.Y.
11. Sgt. Schuyler B. Patch, 25, of Owasso Okla. He was assigned to the 2nd Squadron, 106th Cavalry Regiment, 33rd Infantry Brigade Combat Team, Kewanee, Ill.
12. Sgt. Scott B. Stream, 39, of Mattoon, Ill. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 130th Infantry Regiment, 33rd Infantry Brigade Combat Team, Effingham, Ill.
13. Sgt. Daniel J. Thompson, 24, of Madison, Wis. He was a member of the Individual Ready Reserve, assigned to the 715th Military Police Company, Melbourne, Fla.
14. Cpl. Brian M. Connelly, 26, of Union Beach, N.J., died Feb. 26 in Adhamiya, Iraq, of wounds suffered when his vehicle was struck by an explosive device. He was assigned to the 40th Engineer Battalion, Task Force 1-6, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Baumholder, Germany.
15. Sgt. Simone A. Robinson, 21, of Dixmoor, Ill., died March 1 at Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas, of wounds sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near her security post on Jan. 17 in Kabul, Afghanistan.
She was assigned to the 634th Brigade Support Battalion of the Illinois Army National Guard, Crestwood, Ill.
16. Cpl. Donte J. Whitworth, 21, of Noblesville, Ind., died Feb. 28 as a result of a non-hostile vehicle accident in Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to Combat Logistics Regiment 15, 1st Marine Logistics Group, Marine Corps Air Station Yuma, Ariz.
17. Sgt. Jeffrey A. Reed, 23, of Chesterfield, Va., died March 2 in Balad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when his vehicle was struck by a grenade in Taji, Iraq. He was assigned to the 411th Military Police Company, 720th Military Police Battalion, 89th Military Police Brigade, Fort Hood, Texas.
18. Pfc. Jessica Y. Sarandrea, 22, of Miami, Fla., died March 3 in Mosul, Iraq, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked her forward operating base with mortar fire. She was assigned to the 3rd Brigade Special Troops Battalion, 3rd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.
~~~
Navy To Christen USNS Wally Schirra
The Navy will launch and christen dry cargo/ammunition ship USNS Wally Schirra, Sunday, March 8, 2009, during a 7 a.m. PDT ceremony at the General Dynamics NASSCO shipyard in San Diego, Calif.
Continuing the Lewis and Clark-class (T-AKE) tradition of honoring legendary pioneers and explorers, the Navy’s newest underway replenishment ship recognizes Walter “Wally” Schirra Jr., a U.S. Naval Academy graduate and former Navy test pilot who served in both World War II and the Korean War. On Oct. 3, 1962, Schirra became the fifth American in space and is honored as one of the original seven Mercury astronauts. He holds the distinction of being the only astronaut to fly in each of the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo space programs. Schirra officially retired from the Navy and NASA in 1969.
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
2009 Barksdale Air Show Defenders of Liberty Air Show, May 9-10 [http://www.barksdaleafbairshow.com/]
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner-News through e-mail?
E-mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner-News.
[http://www.bannernews.net/]
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Ezek 10:4-5 Luke 4:17-20 Lev 22:21-22 Rev 3:1-3 Deu 8:15-18 Col 2:2-4 Psa 44:6-8 Gen 41:15-16 Acts 27:20-22 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
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