Monday, February 16, 2009

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Proper Behavior

Volume 11, Issue 07 Friday, February 13, 2009

Hello All,

Folks ask me how I’m feeling about being “retired.” We’ll, to tell the truth I was pretty MAD at first. Then, after about a week, I realized how GLAD I was to be out of the stress of my old job.
I’m working temporary jobs now and that fits my “only child” background. I can take the job or not, depending on how I feel. Life is great.
~~~~~
The Magnolia High School Class of 1969 Reunion will be held June 19, 20 and 21. Saturday night dinner will be at the Magnolia Country Club. More details to follow.
~~~~~
“Intelligent” design vs. “human” nature. In spite of our advanced society and the marvelous technological creations we’re “blessed” with, there are still tons of examples of ignorance parading as intelligence. Another one was revealed this evening when I passed by the new softball field at Magnolia High School.
When the field was first being constructed, I noticed them laying out a side walk from the ball field viewing stands to the high school band hall parking lot. What first caught my eye was the way the sidewalk “meandered” along and didn’t go straight to the parking lot. Then I wondered how folks were going to take to parking so far from the field. Tonight, I got my answer. . . They aren’t.
The parking lot was pretty much empty and cars were lined up on the shoulder of Green street beside the ball field.
This is a fine ball field and I’m proud that we have it. But expecting folks to park on the “back 40" and walk over to the field was a fine example of design ignoring human nature.
This is right up there with all those homes that have fantastic front entrances that are pretty much ignored by most visitors who park in the driveway and head for the carport door into the house.
How often have you seen a nice brick walkway with weeds growing in it and a path trodden through the flower beds adjacent? This is evident at the present Magnolia Hospital parking lot where folks leaving the north wing take a shortcut through the flower bed instead of following the meandering walkway to their car.
At my college, Southern State, there were numerous sidewalks leading from the student center to the various educational and dorm buildings. An old timer told me that they waited to pour the walkways until they had foot paths to follow. Once the students started carving trails across the campus to get from one building to the next, the maintenance folks came back and poured walkways along those foot paths.
And it’s not only travel paths that the design folks ignore. One of my favorite examples of poor design is those big giant rolls of toilet tissue in public restrooms. The giant toilet paper rolls are mounted at the same level as the old regular size rolls that stuck out from the wall. Problem is, these new rolls only feed from that little opening on the bottom instead of allowing you to pluck a tissue (or five) from the top of the roll. Since these monstrosities are mounted low to the floor, you have to stand on your head to get a tissue. Not my favorite activity when personal hygiene is the task. I’ve noticed that folks tend to gather a bunch of tissue when they use these to avoid having to constantly bend over. As a result, there’s often a pile of wasted paper lying on the dispenser or the floor. And that’s just the opposite result desired by the building owner who installed these giants.
If you’d like to see more examples of design ignorance, go to [http://www.baddesigns.com/examples.html] Joe Tudor shared this site with us and it is entertaining.
~~~~~
Speaking of “Intelligent Design”, the “spendoulous” bill has completed its “design” phase and is waiting on President Obama’s signature. This huge pork farm is supposed to solve our economic problems. I have trouble seeing how going another “TRILLION” dollars in debt can improve the economy.
Of this “TRILLION” dollar pork barrel, only 17 percent of this $1 trillion bill provides new tax relief and less than 10 percent provides new roads and bridges.
We cannot spend our way out of debt. The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office says that long-term, this package will do more harm than good. And the president’s own analysts and economic advisers say the Republican plan, which institutes long-term, meaningful tax cuts for individuals and small businesses, would have created twice as many jobs for half the cost of the stimulus package.
Politicians such as House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid took advantage of this crisis and manipulated the fears of American taxpayers to their own ends. Instead of creating jobs, they’re focused on pushing through massive overreaches of government.
Here are just a few of the really scary items in this bill;
One part of the bill takes limits off welfare spending that President Bill Clinton imposed 12 years ago. The provision essentially removes the five-year limit on federal benefits and jeopardizes the requirement that recipients begin working after two years of government support.
The stimulus package also includes a step toward government-run health care. It creates a new entity of bureaucratic oversight, the National Coordinator of Health Information Technology (with a new budget of “1.2 BILLION,” to monitor your treatments. Thanks to this stimulus package, government will be looking over the shoulder of your doctor, preventing him from giving you any treatment they deem “not cost-effective.” I’m sure that all of you want the folks in Washington to decide wither you get the treatment you need instead of having your doctor and you decide the course of your treatment. This reminds me of the dilemma my mother’s surgeon faced years ago when she needed an artery bypass. He explained that Medicare rules required him to conduct a dangerous and useless procedure in the OR and then call Medicare with the results of this “test” before he could operate. He went on to explain that there were cheaper and safer ways to conduct this testing but Medicare hadn’t updated their procedures and refused to allow the surgery unless he did the cruder, more dangerous and painful procedure.
Yes, I want those folks more involved in my health care.
Here are a few more examples of the loud “oink” coming from this travesty;
-- $900 million for the IRS for the "Limitation on Administrative Expenses"
-- $1 million for the Railroad Retirement Board for administrative costs
-- $50 million for Health and Human Services to carry out injury prevention programs
-- $200 million to upgrade labs and facilities for the Department of Agriculture "to improve workplace safety and mission-area efficiencies"
-- $10 million for urban canal inspection
-- $650 million for the Digital Converter Box Program to help the constantly delayed transition from analog television
-- Up to $1 billion for "summer activities" for youths as old as 24
-- $3 billion for the Centers for Disease Control wellness programs and vaccinations
Perhaps one of the best examples of pork in this stimulus package is for $300 million to purchase golf carts. Yes, that ought to get the banks to lending again.
Printing money we don’t have will only result in inflation and increase interest rates on credit card purchases and home mortgages.
Spending the equivalent of a million dollars a day for the next 3,000 years is not a solution, and it is not leadership to saddle our children with the 10 TRILLION dollar cost (the initial cost plus interest payments that will be due from our descendants) of our poor decisions.
~~~~~
I’ve been working in El Dorado and consequently having to drive in the traffic headed east on US 82 each morning. Of course, South Arkansas “Traffic” usually consists of an occasional log truck or maybe 2 or 3 cars following a slightly slower vehicle. But, thanks to the highway passing lanes between here and El Dorado, those don’t slow anyone down for long.
When talking to folks who live in Dallas or Houston or Baton Rouge I also like to remind them that we have traffic problems here in Magnolia to. Just this week there were five or six cars stacked up at the signal light on Frederic Street by McDonalds. It took me almost a minute to get though that intersection and onto US 82 business going east.
But traffic problems aren’t limited to “LA” (Lower Arkansas.) U.S. and Russian officials traded shots Thursday over who was to blame for a huge satellite collision this week that spewed speeding clouds of debris into space, threatening other unmanned spacecraft in nearby orbits, including the Hubble Space Telescope.
The smash-up 500 miles (800 kilometers) over Siberia on Tuesday involved a derelict Russian spacecraft designed for military communications and a working satellite owned by U.S.-based Iridium, which served commercial customers as well as the U.S. Department of Defense.
It seems that we’ve failed to take care of our near space environment the same way we failed to take care of our lakes, rivers and oceans for years. We’ve just dumped stuff up there until the space around the earth looks like a swarm of angry red wasps.
The U.S. tracks about 18,000 objects the size of a softball or greater that are whizzing around the earth at 17,000 mph. Any one of these is able to do serious damage if not totally destroy our space based equipment such as weather satellites, communication satellites, the space station and space shuttle.
Imagine the effect of a softball sized object striking the space shuttle cabin at that speed. And that’s not counting the misc. debris of the space age that we’re not tracking, such as lost nuts and bolts, tools, equipment covers that were jettisoned when the equipment went into service, etc.
The U.S. started cleaning up their operation a few years back. We were already “deorbiting” old satellites instead of leaving them in place as dangerous derelicts. But we also changed the design of our equipment to do away with “disposable” covers and other items that were once released into orbit.
But, other countries have not followed our lead and, as shown by this week’s collision, there are many old hazards cruising along, just waiting to catch someone not paying attention to what’s coming at them.
~~~~~
Have you heard of The Fresh Air Fund? [www.freshair.org] The Fresh Air Fund is now accepting applications for counselors for this coming summer of '09. We hire staff members with a wide range in some pretty amazing fields. We are looking for college-aged men and women who love to work with children. I put together this social media news release which explains it all: [http://freshairfundcounselors.smnr.us/]
The Fresh Air Fund is also looking for Fresh Air hosts for the summer to open their homes to a child, and any help would be appreciated. Thank you so much and please let me know if you have any questions.
Best, Sara Wilson, The Fresh Air Fund [sara@freshair.org]
~~~~~
U.S. Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif., who heads the Senate's Committee on Environment and Public Works, said she is determined to push ahead with legislation to cap greenhouse-gas emissions and help with President Barack Obama's goal of cutting emissions by 80% from 1990 levels by 2050. Boxer said she plans to introduce a measure seeking to authorize Obama's $150 billion grant program for energy-efficiency technologies such as solar and wind power and another version of the cap-and-trade bill that failed to pass last year. Bloomberg (2/3) , Reuters [http://www.reuters.com/article/environmentNews/idUSTRE51267620090204]
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A group calling itself the Save the Plastic Bag coalition has succeeded in getting a preliminary injunction to prevent the city of Manhattan Beach, Calif., from implementing a ban on plastic carry-out bags on the grounds that it had not conducted an environmental impact review, as required by the California Environmental Quality Act. The American Chemistry Council is opposing a similar ban planned in New York City by Mayor Michael Bloomberg: "The Mayor's proposal to add more costs to the grocery bills of New York's working families couldn't come at a worse time [and] would not help the environment," said Sharon Kneiss, vice president of the group's products divisions. plasticsnews.com [http://www.plasticsnews.com/headlines2.html?cat=1&id=1233337955]
~~~~~
Check out our nephew Eric’s website [www.zoelifestyle.com/ericwaller] a Christian based company from Warner Robins GA.
~~~~~
UPDATE TO Taylor - Voigt Family/Friends Cookbook
Our cousin, Shannon Voigt, is planning to update the Taylor-Voigt Family/Friends Cookbook this spring. If you have any great new family recipes you would like added please email them to me by the end of February and I’ll forward them to Shannon.
~~~~~
Just a reminder that those looking for quality, free photo editing software should try “GIMP” [http://www.gimp.org/]. [http://www.gimp.org/tutorials/].
~~~~~
Don’t forget to use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] when you search the Internet!
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DarynKagan.com - - Today's Story: Teen Shields Little Boy From Flying Bullets
6-year-old DeSean Merritt thought he was just going to a high school basketball game with his dad. Little did he know he was about to meet a hero. Hear little DeSean tell the story of how high school basketball player Jullaion Jones did what he had to in order to protect a little boy he didn't even know.
Watch Video >> [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/kids/stories/ki_090211_teenshieldsfrombullets.html]
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Mark Slusher - - Hometown: Lebanon, NJ - - Awarded: Bronze Star

Maj. Mark Slusher is one of many advisors that serve among battalions, brigades and divisions of the Iraqi military. He trained, lived, ate and became brothers-in arms with them. Slusher, along with the three-week Basra Campaign, showed just one example of how that developed relationship can influence the growing Iraqi military.

The Lebanon, N.J. native was awarded a Bronze Star Medal with a combat distinguishing device, Jan. 12, for heroic achievement in connection with combat operations against insurgency in the city of Basra that contributed to the success of Iraqi forces in the region.

Slusher served as team leader for Military Transition Team 111 of 1st Battalion, 1st Brigade, 1st Iraqi Army Division from Aug. 22, 2007 to Aug. 17, 2008. During this time, he simultaneously advised the Iraqi Army battalion commander and led his 15-man MTT through combat operations that cleared multiple insurgent strongholds and weapons cache sites throughout the city, according to Slusher’s award citation.

“Its fire in the belly courage and leadership,” said Brig. Gen. Juan G. Ayala, commanding general of 2nd MLG. “It’s because of American advisors putting their lives on the line that the Iraqi Army is on its feet.”

Ayala, having served as senior advisor to the 1st Iraqi Army Division the year prior to Slusher’s tour, said the efforts of American military members make this a very significant time in U.S. and Iraqi history. Ayala went on to say Slusher’s efforts epitomize military advisors and show how much of an impact they can have.

Lt. Col. Chuck Western, who served with Slusher as the brigade MTT leader, said Basra was a dangerous place at the time they were there. Slusher’s team and the Iraqi battalion were bombarded by continuous mortar and small arms fire in the early days of the campaign.

According to his award, Slusher repeatedly exposed himself to enemy fire in order to direct his team’s defensive actions and advise the Iraqi battalion commander in combat.

“Mark was able to convince the Iraqi battalion commander to stay in the area where he was at,” Western said. “He stayed there shoulder-to-shoulder with the battalion commander. He gave him time to get over his concerns and become a combat commander.”

This same quick action and presence of mind was displayed while elements of the MTT were exiting the Basra city limits, after conducting a combat patrol. One of the transition team’s vehicles was attacked by an explosively formed penetrator, which is an improvised explosive device commonly used to penetrate armor at stand-off distances. The device destroyed the vehicles and wounded all five members inside.

Slusher immediately retrieved the injured personnel from the burning vehicle while under steady small arms fire, and moved them to a covered position to administer first aid. His citation said his actions resulted in a successful air and ground casualty evacuation of the injured Marines.

“We operate there alone and unafraid,” Slusher said, speaking of how a MTT functions. “Everyone knew their roles and I was truly blessed with the men I had on my team. It’s great to know we were able to positively influence what happened in Basra and the rest of the country.”

Excerpt from article by Cpl. Aaron Rooks, Marine Corps News, January 12, 2009

~~

Omar Hernandez - - Hometown: Houston, TX - - Awarded: Silver Star

Army SSgt. Omar Hernandez traveled a long, hard road on his way to earning the Silver Star.

Hernandez, 27, came to the United States from Mexico with his family when he was 6 months old.

He joined the Army Reserve at age 19 as an engineer, and went to Iraq for the first time in February 2003. He switched to the regular Army in March 2004 as an infantryman and was promptly sent back to Iraq. He earned his citizenship after his second Iraq tour.

Hernandez was deployed for the third time in November 2006, as part of the 4th Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division out of Fort Bliss, Texas. The unit has since changed its name to 4th Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division.

Five months into the deployment, Hernandez and other 4-1 soldiers moved from Forward Operating Base Kalsu in Iskandariyah to Baghdad, where they were assigned to Joint Security Station "Maverick" in Ghazaliya, a primarily Sunni Baghdad neighborhood.

June 6, 2007, was supposed to be a rare day off for Hernandez, a team leader in charge of mentoring four Iraqi police recruits.

Instead, he and another team leader were ordered to take their Iraqi counterparts out on a census patrol.

Four American soldiers and nine Iraqis went out on the mission.

No sooner had they set off on foot, they got ambushed, right outside the JSS.

In the blink of an eye, two Iraqi police were shot: one in the back, the other in the leg and arm. They both collapsed, bleeding, in a T-shaped intersection.

As Hernandez turned to return fire with his M-4, he too was shot, in his right thigh.

"I didn’t really feel it too much at the time," he said. "I just felt a lot of pressure on my leg. You know, like Forrest Gump — where he goes, ‘Somethin’ jumped up and bit meeee,’" Hernandez drawled.

The bullet "bit him," all right. It entered through the back of his thigh, narrowly missed his femoral artery, and exited the front, taking 30 percent of his quadriceps along with it.

But right then, all Hernandez was focused on was his Iraqis, lying vulnerable in the street, as the enemy fire got heavier.

"I couldn’t let anyone die out there, exposed like that," Hernandez said. "They were under my command. I didn’t want anybody under my command to die."

He dashed into the intersection, grabbed the nearest Iraqi by the arm, and dragged him 15 feet to safety behind a wall as the three U.S. soldiers on the opposite side of the street laid down cover fire.

Then Hernandez ran back for the second Iraqi, straddled him, grabbed the bleeding man’s protective vest under the armpits, and with one heave, levered the Iraqi up onto his shoulder.

Then he made his second mad dash for the wall.

"At the time I was Superman, so I didn’t know whether he was heavy or not," Hernandez said.

Once the Iraqis were safe and receiving treatment, Hernandez began returning fire. Finally, he accepted medical treatment himself.

If Hernandez had not scooped the wounded Iraqis off the street, the outcome would have been grim, Lt. Matthew Allen, 25, platoon leader for 2nd Platoon, Company B, 177 Armor Regiment and executive officer for Hernandez’ company at the time, told Stars and Stripes.

"In the position that they were in, had they been left without cover, whoever was shooting could easily have hit them a couple more times and finished the job," Allen said.

Hernandez learned he would receive the nation’s third-highest military award in February, and "I almost did a back flip," Hernandez told Stripes.

"For a common person like me to get something like that — it means a lot, and it means a lot to my family."

But not as much as the Army, he said.
"I love the Army, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world," Hernandez said. "If they were to give me $20 million for me to get out, I don’t think I’d take it."

By Lisa Burgess, Stars and Stripes, July 3, 2008
~~~~~
America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars.
~~~~~
Bug recommends . . . Kit Lange is an Air Force veteran and military writer who specializes in investigating murder cases stemming from actions in combat. Her work was used as evidence in the Lt. Ilario Pantano case, and has been quoted extensively in other news publications for other cases. In 2005, she co-wrote a 10-part series disproving war crime allegations against an elite Army unit; her blog [EuphoricReality.com] was named as one of the top 10 milblogs of the year. She is also the National Web Coordinator for Gathering of Eagles, a nationally-recognized troop support organization. Kit holds a degree in Aircraft Maintenance Technology from Spartan College of Aeronautics, and is working on a second degree in Aviation Technology Management. She resides in Tulsa , Oklahoma . This site has her comments on our current political situation [http://euphoricreality.com/2008/11/28/my-predictions-for-the-obama-presidency/comment-page-2/#comment-5632]
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web. If you haven’t read Michael’s dispatches, I strongly urge you to do so at once. It’s important that we all know what’s happening in our world.
“Bug”
~
This information can save your life [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/the-eagle-went-over-the-mountain.htm]. The enemy already knows the tactics they are using, but likely not all NATO/ISAF forces are aware.

Any enemy that repeatedly attacks U.S. Marines deserves at least grudging respect. The Marines respect this enemy, and that's saying a lot. Too bad the Marines have to kill so many of these guys; many would probably make good police or soldiers if they were not in cahoots with the enemy.
~
The Afghanistan-Pakistan war increases in complexity with each passing year. Fighting will likely be more intense this year -- probably kicking off in earnest at around April or so -- than ever before. It's dangerous to try to predict the course of a war, though my guess is that 2010 will see even greater fighting than 2009. By Fall of 2010, we likely will know if our new President has gotten hold of this tiger.

Please click [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/how-much-is-afghanistan-really-worth-to-us.htm] for the latest dispatch.

The good news is that Iraq just keeps doing better and better. Truly an amazing turnaround.
~
"It's Raining" [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/its-raining.htm] was first published yesterday on Instapundit, one of my favorite blogs.

This will be a long year in Afghanistan, and I plan to spend about six months or more, there or in the region. Not looking forward to months of combat, but the war is only worsening and very few writers remain who will embed with combat forces for any length of time. I don't know of any, actually, remaining who will go for months on end. Not sure how much of my 2009 will be with U.S. forces; some of our allies are requesting coverage and extending the red carpet, and it's very important to know how our military alliance is doing. The alliance is key to the war. Whether it shows signs of falling apart, or sticking together, is crucial.

Embedding is very difficult, dangerous, time consuming, and expensive, and so long embeds simply do not seem to be happening.

My end-goal for 2009 is to bring back news and summary so that the reader will understand the overall trajectory of the war. Are we winning or losing? Is it worth it? What exactly are our goals in Afghanistan? I don't know what our goals are. Does anyone know?

My reporting from 2006, unembedded in Afghanistan, proved that it is not necessary to embed with U.S. forces, or even to consult with commanders or the Pentagon, to predict the trajectory of the war with reasonable accuracy. I like covering combat forces simply because I like them. And they need coverage, especially so since practically nobody else will do it for them, but much of the decision making regarding embeds will be based on how much support derives from command. End goal: to accurately summarize for the reader the trajectory of the war, and long embeds might actually hinder my ability to predict the war.

Iraq only continues to improve. I plan to return to Iraq this year. That war truly is over. We can start bringing our men and women home, but it's crucial to pay close attention to the advice of our military commanders.

Please read, "It's Raining." [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/its-raining.htm]
~
Afghanistan is in a sad state. Some folks are worried about "disturbing trends" in Afghanistan. I was concerned about disturbing trends back in early 2006. But that concern is over. My concern is more grave; that we will completely lose the war if we set expectations too high. We should downgrade our expectations for Afghanistan, and what we are willing to invest there. The world is a big place and there are other problems at hand. Iran just launched a satellite to orbit, for example. Afghanistan is such a sorry place that it will require at least decades severe effort to become half-way presentable, and likely a century to bring to anything respectable.

In Iraq, the light at the end of the tunnel was always bright (except during the civil war), and now Iraq is already out of the tunnel and blinking in the light of a new day. But Afghanistan is a national Humpty Dumpty. The best I see is the very distant, very dim, twinkling of a star. Or maybe it's just a phosphene and not a star at all. My humble recommendation is to downgrade all expectations for Afghanistan. Treat the patient as best we can, and concern ourselves with more important matters while striving not to allow Afghanistan to again become a launching pad for international terror. President Obama should not stake our national reputation on the idea that we will achieve our current more ambitious goals. Decrease expectations, and work on more important matters such as the world economy and other more serious military threats. Afghanistan is not worth so much effort when most of NATO has no heart and is virtually worthless. Eventually we'll likely end up alone, or mostly alone, holding the bag, while Europe goes home to its wine and beer.

Please read: "Afghanistan is a Gaunt, Thorny Bush."[http://www.michaelyon-online.com/afghanistan-a-dream-that-will-not-come-true.htm]

Very Respectfully,
Your correspondent,
Michael Yon

Http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - Blackened Chops with Pineapple Salsa

Source National Pork Board
Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 6 minutes Difficulty Easy
Yields 4 servings

Spiced pork chops with the contrasting sweetness of pineapple.

Ingredients
3 boneless pork chops, 3/4-inch thick
1 cup fresh diced pineapple (or canned, drained)
1 medium red bell peppers, chopped (or green pepper)
1 tbsp fresh chopped onion, finely
1 tbsp fresh lime juice
1 tsp chili powder
½ whole jalapeno pepper, finely chopped
1/8 tsp ground cumin
1/8 tsp ground cayenne (red pepper)
1 pinch salt and pepper
2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp ground coriander
½ tsp ground cumin
½ tsp paprika
½ tsp black pepper
1/4 pinch salt
1 tsp vegetable oil

Nutrition Facts
Makes 4 servings
Amount Per Serving
Calories 186.8
Total Carbs 9g
Dietary Fiber 1.8g
Sugars 5.5g
Total Fat 9.6g
Saturated Fat 3.2g
Unsaturated Fat 6.4g
Potassium 382.7mg
Protein 16.5g
Sodium 326.8mg
Dietary Exchanges
½ Fat, 1/4 Fruit, 2 1/4 Meat, ½ Vegetable

Directions

To prepare salsa, in a medium bowl combine pineapple, red pepper, onion, lime juice, 1 teaspoon chili powder, jalapeno pepper, 1/8 teaspoon cumin, and cayenne. Season to taste with salt and pepper; set aside.
In a small bowl combine 2 teaspoons chili powder, coriander, ½ teaspoon cumin, paprika, ½ teaspoon pepper, and 1/4 teaspoon salt.
Stir in 1 teaspoon oil. Rub the mixture all over the chops.
Heat a large heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Cook chops for 5-6 minutes, turning occasionally, until evenly browned on both sides, and chops are just done. Serve chops with the salsa.
[http://www.dlife.com/dLife/diabetic-recipes/972/Blackened-Chops-with-Pineapple-Salsa.html
printed from dLife.com]
~
Low Carb Peanut Butter Balls

Source Enlitened Kosher Cooking by Nechama Cohen
Yields 24 servings

Delicious unsweetened peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate and sugar glaze.

Ingredients
½ cup Margarine, 80% fat, unsalted
1/8 cup low fat vanilla soy milk
½ cup natural creamy peanut butter
1 ½ oz vanilla protein powder, 3 tablespoons
3/4 cup SPLENDA® No Calorie Sweetener, granulated
1 pinch salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
½ cup chopped walnuts
1 oz unsweetened baking chocolate, about 2 squares
½ tsp olive oil
3 tbsp SPLENDA® No Calorie Sweetener, granulated
½ tsp fresh lemon juice, mixed with water
½ tsp vanilla extract

Calories 102.2
Total Carbs 2.9g
Dietary Fiber 0.5g
Sugars 0.5g
Total Fat 8.7g
Saturated Fat 1.6g
Unsaturated Fat 7.1g
Potassium 19mg
Protein 3.3g
Sodium 7.6mg

Dietary Exchanges - 2 Fat

Directions

1 In a saucepan over low heat, melt margarine with soy milk and mix with peanut butter. Stir in soy protein powder, sugar substitute, salt, vanilla, and nuts.
2 Roll into small balls, slightly smaller than a walnut. Put in a container in a single layer and freeze overnight, or for at least 2 hours.
3 Melt chocolate and oil in microwave on high for 30 seconds. Allow to stand 1 minute and stir until smooth. Using a toothpick, dip balls in chocolate. Place on wax paper and store in freezer in an airtight container.
4 Once the balls are frozen, prepare glaze by putting sugar substitute in a cup and adding water and lemon juice 1 drop at a time until a thick paste form.
5 Add vanilla extract slowly and mix. If mixture is to loose, add another teaspoon of sugar substitute. If too thick, add more water. Using a spoon, wave above the balls, allowing the glaze to design freely.
Allow yourself this treat in small portions and it will be within range for almost any regimen.
[http://www.dlife.com/dLife/diabetic-recipes/9697/Low-Carb-Peanut-Butter-Balls.html]
~~~~~
Last week we watched [Ratings are my own]:
Sense and Sensibility (1995) [9.1] Starring Kate Winslet ... Emma Thompson ... Hugh Grant ... Robert Hardy ... Alan Rickman ... Greg Wise
Pride & Prejudice (2005) [8.5] Starring Keira Knightley ... Talulah Riley ... Rosamund Pike ... Donald Sutherland ... Matthew Macfadyen
Miss Potter (2006) [7.3] Starring Renée Zellweger ... Ewan McGregor ... Emily Watson
Yentl (1983) [8.0] Starring Barbra Streisand ... Mandy Patinkin ... Amy Irving
Nights in Rodanthe (2008) [8.0] Starring Diane Lane ... Richard Gere ... Christopher Meloni ... Viola Davis
My Best Friend's Girl (2008) [3.4] Starring Dane Cook ... Kate Hudson ... Alec Baldwin ... Jason Biggs
Everything You Want (2005) [6.0] Starring Shiri Appleby ... Nick Zano
Three to Tango (1999) [6.4] Starring Matthew Perry ... Neve Campbell ... Dylan McDermott
In the Name of the King (2007) [7.2] Starring Jason Statham ... Leelee Sobieski ... John Rhys-Davies ... Ron Perlman
Ghost Town (2008) [6.5] Starring Greg Kinnear ... Jordan Carlos
The Long Way Home (1998) [7.7] Starring Jack Lemmon ... Sarah Paulson ... Kristin Griffith
Music From Another Room (1998) [6.6] Starring Jude Law ... Jennifer Tilly ... Gretchen Mol ... Martha Plimpton
Jack and Sarah (1995) [7.0] Starring Richard E. Grant ... Samantha Mathis ... Judi Dench
~~~~~
We’re currently reading; Black ops, bk.5 / W.E.B. Griffin.
We intend to read; Found money / James Grippando. - Under cover of darkness / James Grippando. - Last to die/ James Grippando
We recently Read: The Romanov prophecy / Steve Berry. - Silent spring / Rachel Carson -
Born to run / James Grippando. - Six seconds / Rick Mofina. - Seizure by Robin Cook
We recommend: Do the right thing : inside the movement that's bringing common sense back to America / Mike Huckabee.
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include David and Bobbie on the night of their senior prom, Magnolia’s new hospital construction progress, “Tammy” Duke in Europe during WWII, weather damage to Central Dispatch’s radio tower, Uncle Bob, Uncle Williard, my Mom, Uncle Fort, Uncle Cecil, Aunt Gerry and Uncle Hoot with their mother, Miss Mary Taylor.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat4q08.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see more photos of April’s train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Dr. Pat Antoon’s Address:
Pat Antoon 06669-010
Federal Prison Camp
P.O. Box 9300
Texarkana, TX 75505
Be sure and keep him in your prayers.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
Shocking
By Chuck Colson
2/6/2009
Conscience and Cruelty

In 1961, shortly after Israel put Adolf Eichmann on trial—“the architect of the Holocaust”—Yale psychologist Stanley Milgram began a series of psychological experiments. The goal was to “test how much pain an ordinary citizen would inflict on another person simply because he was “ordered to” by an authority figure.

In the experiment, the subject was told to administer an electric shock every time a participant in another room (who was called the “learner”) gave a wrong answer. While there were no real shocks, the subjects thought there were, a ruse made more believable by the sounds of screaming coming from the other room.

With each wrong answer, the subject was instructed to increase the severity of the “shock”—all the way to a potentially lethal level.

When the participants expressed concern or a desire to stop, they were told things like “please continue,” or in the most extreme cases, “you have no other choice, you must go on.”

Sixty-five percent of the subjects administered what they thought was a potentially lethal shock. Only one participant refused.

The results, understandably, shocked both scientists and the public. They implied that, given the right setting, “ordinary citizens” were capable of brutality and even murder. The difference between us and the perpetrators of the Holocaust weren’t as great as we liked to believe.

In the 45 years since the experiments, our attitudes toward authority have changed a lot. That and the lessons of history led many of us to believe that the results would be different if the experiments were performed today by more enlightened citizens.

They were wrong. When researchers at Santa Clara University performed a modified version of Milgram’s experiment—where the “shocks” were limited to the merely painful—the results were “nearly identical” to Milgram’s.

We shouldn’t be surprised. Even though the social movements of the last 30 or 40 years weakened institutions like the family, they didn’t change human nature itself. We are inclined by nature to seek out authority if for no other reason than self-preservation. So when there’s chaos, people choose order over liberty.

Another reason we shouldn’t be surprised is that what stands between us and obeying an immoral order isn’t our view of authority—it’s conscience. Not “conscience” in the sense that we do something we feel inside of us. I mean conscience in the sense of actually understanding right from wrong—an informed view of life. The word “conscience” comes from the Latin con scientia, meaning “with knowledge.”

And that implies that you know something in the first place—that you have been taught principles you are prepared to apply when you are asked to do something immoral. Given the devaluing of human life and dignity in the American culture, we cannot assume that many people have that kind of knowledge today.

But without access to this higher law and belief in a higher authority—or highest Authority—resisting unlawful and immoral authority is almost impossible. So all that stands between a person and cruelty are vague feelings that, not surprisingly, can’t resist authority, or peer pressure for that matter.

This is why the biblical worldview and the authority of God, and understanding it in our lives, matters.
~
No Time to Check Out
By Mark Earley
2/13/2009
Evangelicals and Politics
Note: This commentary was delivered by PFM President Mark Earley.

Cal Thomas, a conservative evangelical columnist, is someone I really admire. But shortly after Barack Obama’s historic election victory, he wrote a column called “Religious Right, R.I.P.,” which I strongly disagree with. In it, Thomas asserts that evangelicals should abandon their efforts to impact culture through political involvement.

He says, “Evangelicals are at a junction. They can take the path that will lead them to more futility and ineffective attempts to reform culture through government, or they can embrace the far more powerful methods outlined by the One they claim to follow.”

By following the example of Christ, Thomas continues, “they will get much of what they hope for, but can never achieve, in and through politics.”

Well, Thomas, in my opinion, is both dead right and dead wrong. He is right in the sense that all of the followers of Jesus should indeed emulate Christ’s life. Thomas is also right that some of those who have led the evangelical movement in the political culture have been strident in tone and hungry for power.

But Thomas is wrong in setting up an either-or proposition. Either you are involved in politics seeking change—or you live like Jesus and effect change merely by your exemplary life. Unfortunately, neither Jesus nor the whole of Scripture gives us that choice. Instead, we are called to work and live in all areas of life, living like Jesus in the process. We cannot withdraw from any area—especially not politics.

Thomas’s conclusion seems to be based on a sense of failure. Looking back on the last 30 years of evangelical political involvement, he observes that evangelicals have little to show for their efforts. Abortion remains the law of the land, society grows coarser, and the homosexual culture is widely entrenched.

I wonder, however, what our country would look like today if believers had been absent from the public square for the last 30 years. I understand his frustration, but to despair after 30 years is shortsighted.

Os Guinness gives us a reminder of how dangerous withdrawing can be. Such an imbalanced emphasis on the “sphere of inwardness, personal bliss, and private salvation” characterized the church in Germany in the first half of the last century. In such a fog, Guinness says, they “could raise no altar strong enough to resist the challenge of Adolf Hitler.”

Likewise, Carl Henry, one of the great theologians of the 20th century, writes, “The Christian populace fails its contemporaries if it postpones all protest until a state becomes so corrupt that revolution seems the only course of action.”

We Christians simply cannot afford to fail our contemporaries by withdrawing. Especially now, when so many have an agenda that devalues life and weakens families.

The tension to retreat into religious isolation is not new. After Jesus’ ascension, some in the early church were ready to withdraw from the affairs of men and simply wait for Jesus to return. Paul repeatedly and sternly had to remind them to go back to work, to do good to their fellow man, and to regularly meet together. They could not check out early, and neither can we.

For Further Reading and Information

Cal Thomas, “Religious Right, R.I.P.,” Townhall.com, 6 November 2008.
“No God Condones What?: The President and the Innocent,” BreakPoint Commentary, 10 February 2009.
“Good Vibes, Bad Vibes: Obama's First 72 Hours,” BreakPoint Commentary, 27 January 2009.
“A Sacred Duty: Why Christians Must Vote,” BreakPoint Commentary, 27 October 2008.
“Charting the Psychology of Evil, Decades After 'Shock' Experiment,” CNN, 19 December 2008.
Ronald Bailey, “Would You Have Been A Nazi?,” Reason, 6 January 2009.
“'Crime and Punishment': Suicide by Self-Affirmation,” BreakPoint Commentary, 26 January 2009.
“Weighty Conversations: 'The Boy in the Striped Pajamas',” BreakPoint Commentary, 10 November 2008.

© 2009 Prison Fellowship - - http://www.breakpoint.org/
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
victuals: supply of food
chaff: seed coverings; detritus
defalcate: take fraudulently
virtuoso: exceptional performer
unwitting: lacking knowledge
erstwhile: former; formerly
denigrate: belittle, attack maliciously
highhanded: with haughty disregard
toady: someone who is servile
osteopath: therapist who manipulates body structure
tome: large scholarly book
froward: willfully contrary
expurgate: to remove offensive parts
myopia: nearsightedness
pinchbeck: something that is counterfeit
interminable: seeming to have no end
from http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/
~~~~~
“I'm beginning to understand myself. But it would have been great to be able to understand myself when I was 20 rather than when I was 82." - Dave Brubeck

"Men build too many walls and not enough bridges." - Isaac Newton

"One should count each day a separate life." - Seneca

"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood." - Marie Curie

"I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself." - Michel de Montaigne

"The liberties of a people never were, nor ever will be, secure when the transactions of their rulers may be concealed from them." - Patrick Henry

"We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems." - Lee Iacocca

"It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little." - Sydney Smith

"A wise man will make haste to forgive, because he knows the true value of time, and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain." - Samuel Johnson

"Obstinacy is the result of the will forcing itself into the place of the intellect." - Arthur Schopenhauer

"You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements." - Norman Douglas

"Don't worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition." - Abraham Lincoln

"Personally, I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught." - Winston Churchill
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." - Erich Fromm
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

"Y.O.P.P"—a 12-year-old's Profound Speech on Abortion
Aimee Herd (February 10, 2009)
"…we can't take someone's rights away to avoid our own choices."
Those familiar with the children's book written by Dr. Seuss, Horton Hears a Who, will remember the one word shouted by the smallest who in Whoville; the word that made all the difference, and broke through to the ears of the unbelievers. That word was "YOPP!"

Bound4Life, the grassroots prayer mobilization movement suggests that "YOPP" stands for "Young Ones Praying and Prophesying." With that in mind, they have posted a video of a "young one" speaking some remarkable words of truth; simple and direct. (Photo: Bound4Life.com)

Lia, a 12-year-old seventh grader recently gave a very profound speech in her school, on the topic of abortion. According to Bound4Life, her teachers "strongly encouraged" her to choose a different subject, but Lia is obviously passionate about life. She courageously stayed with her topic, and her speech is fearless, and informative.

Watch Lia's speech by CLICKING [http://bound4life.com/blog/2009/02/06/y-o-p-p].

Lia's mother wrote in an email about where her daughter's passion originated, and what happened in school after she chose to speak on abortion…

"It was really a family thing. I saw Lou [Engle] speak at a conference several years ago. I came back to my family with the "Life Bands," and we all wore them, made our covenant, and prayed the prayer for abortion to end… We were invited to participate in a "Life Tape Siege." Once my kids heard of this invitation, they all agreed: "We have to do that!" Since then, Lia's passion for seeing abortion end has continued. Being impacted by Lou's words regarding Horton [Hears a Who], she was excited to watch the movie when it was released (and the rest of the family were too!).

"As part of her class requirements, she needed to prepare a speech; however, the classroom presentations were also meant to enable the teacher to select the best speeches to go on to a more serious competition. As I mentioned, several teachers discouraged her from picking the topic of abortion; she was told it was "too big", "too mature" and "too controversial." She was also told that if she went ahead with that topic, she would not be allowed to continue on in the speech competition. Initially, I tried helping her find other topics to speak on, but, in the end, she was adamant. She just felt she wanted to continue with the topic of abortion. So she forfeited her chance to compete in order to speak on something she was passionate about."

Bound4Life encourages people to forward Lia's video to their friends, to encourage her and to "shake the nations with God's truth."

For more information on Bound4Life, follow the source link provided.
Source: Bound4life.com

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426
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GCF: Proper Behavior

Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

A priest at a parochial school, wanted to point out the proper behavior for church. He was trying to elicit from the youngsters, rules that their parents might give before taking them to a nice restaurant.

"Don't play with your food," one second grader cited.

"Don't be loud," said another, and so on...

"And what rule do your parents give you before you go out to eat?" the priest inquired of one little boy.

Without batting an eye, the child replied, "Order something cheap."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Clothing Store

Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

While working in a clothing store, I noticed that people had no shame about returning items that had been worn. One rainy morning I walked in and found a discolored blazer hanging on the rack with other returns. "People return the most filthy, nasty things," I commented to my supervisor who was standing nearby.

With an eyebrow raised, she said, "That's MY jacket."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Windsor Castle

Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
-------------------------------------

Windsor Castle, outside of London, is directly in the flight path of Heathrow International Airport. While a group of tourists was standing outside the castle admiring the elegant structure, a plane flew overhead at a relatively low altitude, making a tremendous noise.

One particularly annoyed tourist whined, "Why did they build the castle so close to the airport?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Tough Account

Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

Jones applied to a collection agency for a job, but he had no experience. He was so intense that the manager gave him a tough account with the promise that if he collected it, he'd get the job.

Two hours later, Jones came back with the entire amount.

"Amazing!" the manager said. "How did you do it?"

"Easy," Jones replied. "I told him if he didn't pay up, I'd tell all his other creditors that he paid us."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Because I Am A Man...

Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

Because I'm a man,
when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I'm a man,
when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man,
when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man,
I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or 'tofu'. For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances expect me to pick up anything for which 'feminine hygiene product' is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man,
when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man,
I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (although one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man,
I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how could he know where we're going?

Because I'm a man,
there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either cars, beer, or football. I always have to make up something else when you ask, so just don't ask.

Because I'm a man,
I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

Because I'm a man,
you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man,
I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man,
I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Doing vs Thinking

Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld) -Tom http://sharkbait.computerworld.com/?q=node/2932
-------------------------------------

As a network administrator, I get annoyed with requests to open a set number of ports on a firewall when the numbers don't match.

For example:
Please open the following 10 ports: 49120-49130.

I respond - Do you want:
A. Eleven ports - 49120-49130
B. Ten ports - 49120-49129
C. Ten ports - 49121-49130
For the moment you're getting:
D. None of the above.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Backpacking Hair

Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

After eight days of backpacking, my wife and I were looking pretty scruffy. She came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her hair sticking out at odd angles.

She asked, "does my hair make me look like a water buffalo?"

I thought for a moment, then said, "If I tell you the truth, do you promise not to charge?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Divorce Diet

Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

Two women were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all we do is fight anymore. I've been so upset that I've lost 20 pounds."

"Why don't you just leave him?" asked the friend.

"Oh! Not yet," the first replied. "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Votive Candles

Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

Visiting St Patrick's Cathedral on a tour of New York City , my daughter and her children were awed by the sight. The kids were especially curious about the votive candles, so my daughter asked if they'd each like to light one. She explained that is it customary to say a prayer of petition or thanks, and she was careful to tell them that these are not like birthday candles. "Do you have any questions?" she asked.

"No," said the five-year-old, "but if there's a pony outside, it's mine."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Doctor-Patient

Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

On a busy Medical/Surgical floor, the doctor stops the nurse to brief her on a patient's condition. "This patient is a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he will not be able to play golf again unless you follow my orders exactly."

The doctor then began listing orders: "You must give an injection in a different location every twenty minutes followed by a second injection exactly five minutes after the first. He must take two pills at exactly every hour followed by one pill every fifteen minutes for eight hours. He must drink no more and no less than ten ounces of water every twenty-five minutes and must void between. Soak his arm in warm water for fifteen minutes then place ice for ten minutes and repeat over and over for the rest of the day. Give range of motion every thirty minutes. He requires a back rub and foot rub every hour. Feed him something tasty every hour. Be cheerful and do whatever he asks at all times. Chart his condition and vital signs every twenty minutes. You must do these things exactly as I ordered or his injury will not heal properly, and he will not be able to play golf well."

The nurse left the doctor and entered the patient's room. She was greeted by anxious family and an equally anxious patient. All asked the nurse what the doctor had said about the patient. The nurse started, "The doctor said that you will live."

Then quickly reviewing the orders, the nurse added, "But you will have to learn a new sport."
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / It's not an optical illusion. \ /
\ _/ It just looks like one. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / When you open a new bag \ \_/ ////
\ / of cotton balls, \ /
\ _/ is the top one meant \_ /
/ / to be thrown away? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Little Known Fact: \ /
\ _/ Mel Blanc, the voice of \_ /
/ / Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / TV news people have \ \_/ ////
\ / the hardest job in the world \ /
\ _/ ...trying to cram 10 minutes \_ /
/ / of news into a two-hour show. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / OK, I'm weird, \ /
\ _/ but I'm saving up to be eccentric.\_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / All of me is beautiful and \ /
\ _/ valuable, even the ugly, \_ /
/ / stupid and disgusting parts. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / When I'm driving to work, \ \_/ ////
\ / and I see a sign that says: \ /
\ _/ "CAUTION: SMALL CHILDREN PLAYING" \_ /
/ / I slow down, and then it occurs to me,\ \
I'm not afraid of small children.
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If white wine goes with fish, \ /
\ _/ do white grapes go with sushi? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ We put the "k" in "kwality." \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why do they sterilize the \ /
\ _/ needles for lethal injection? \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_| ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Retiring to Florida

For those of you contemplating retirement, I would like to share my retirement experiences with you, which I hope will be helpful.

Fifteen years ago my wife and I moved into a retirement development on Florida's Southeast coast. We are living in the Delray/Boca/Boynton Golf,Spa, 20 Bath and Tennis Club on Lake Fake-a-hachee. There are 3000 lakes in Florida, only three are real.
Our biggest retirement concern was time management. What were we going to do all day? Let me assure you, passing the time is not a problem. Your days will be eaten up by simple, daily activities. Just getting out of your car takes 15 minutes. Trying to find where you parked takes 20 minutes. It takes 1/2 hour on the check-out line in Wal-Mart and 1 hour to return the item the next day.
Let me take you through a typical day. We get up at 5:00 AM, have a quick breakfast and join the early morning Walk and Talk Club. There are about 30 of us and rain or shine we walk around the streets, all talking at once. Every development has some late risers who stay in bed until 6 AM. After a nimble walk avoiding irate drivers out to make us road kill, we go back home, shower and change for the next activity.
My wife goes directly to the pool for her under water Pilates class, followed by gasping for breath and CPR. I put on my 'Ask me about my Grandchildren' T-shirt, my plaid mid-calf shorts, my black socks and sandals and go to the club house lobby for a nice nap.
Before you know it, it's time for lunch. We go to Costco or Sam's Club to partake of the many tasty samples dispensed by ladies in white hair nets. All free! After a filling lunch, if we don't have any doctor appointments, we might go to the flea market to see if any new white belts have come in or to buy a Rolex watch for $2.00.
We're usually back home by 2 PM to get ready for dinner.. People start lining up for the early bird about 3 PM, but we get there by 3:45 because we're late eaters. The dinners are very popular because of the large portions they serve. You can take home enough food for the next day's lunch and dinner, including extra bread, crackers, packets of mustard, relish, ketchup and Sweet-and-Low along with mints.
At 5:30 we're home ready to watch the 6 o'clock news. By 6:30 we're fast asleep. Then we get up and make 5 or 6 trips to the bathroom during the night and it's time to get up and start a new day all over again..
Doctor related activities eat up most of your retirement time. I enjoy reading old magazines in sub zero temperatures in the waiting room, so I don't mind. Calling for test results also help the days fly by. It takes at least half an hour just getting through the doctor's phone menu. Then there's the hold time until you're connected to the right party. Sometimes they forget you're holding, and the whole office goes off to lunch.
Should you find you still have time on your hands, volunteering provides a rewarding opportunity to help the less fortunate. Florida has the largest concentration of seniors under five feet and they need our help. I myself am a volunteer for 'The Vertically Challenged Over 80.' I coach their basketball team, The Arthritic Avengers. The hoop is only 4 1/2 feet from the floor. You should see the look of confidence on their faces when they make a slam dunk.
Food shopping is a problem for short seniors or 'bottom feeders' as we call them because they can't reach the items on the upper shelves. There are many foods they've never tasted. After shopping, most seniors can't remember where they parked their cars and wander the parking lot for hours while their food defrosts.
Lastly, it's important to choose a development with an impressive name. Italian names are very popular in Florida . They convey world traveler, uppity sophistication and wealth. Where would you rather live... Murray's Condos or the Lakes Of Venice ? There's no difference. They're both owned by Murray who happens to be a cheap bastard.
I hope this material has been of help to you future retirees. If I can be of any further assistance, please look me up when you're in Florida . I live in The Leaning Condos of Pisa in Boynton Beach.

Thanks to Gary Foreman
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The Bail Out as seen by the ever astute Maxine.

Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel and bar in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the economy of our country and our banking system to the same nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling whiskey!"

Thanks to Gary Foreman
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PECANS IN THE CEMETERY
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,'
said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been telling' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord.'

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done.'

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

Smile God loves you!!

Thanks to Larry Barnes
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Fixen a deal - Chicago Style

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.
One from Illinois , one from Tennessee , and a third from Kentucky . They all go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The Tennessee contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. 'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'
The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, 'I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'
The Illinois contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, '$2,700.'
The official, incredulous, whispers back, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'
The Illinois contractor whispers back, '$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire that guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.'
'Done!' replies the government official.

And that my friends, is how it all works!

Thanks to Gary Foreman
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A GUY IS PACKING HIS SURVIVAL GEAR AND ALL HE GETS OUT IS A CANTEEN AND A DECK OF CARDS. HIS BUDDY LOOKS AT THIS AND SAYS HOW THE HECK IS A DECK OF CARDS GOING TO HELP YOU IF YOUR LOST AND ALL ALONE IN THE WOODS. THE GUY SAYS "WELL EVERYTIME I PLAY SOLITAIRE THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE STANDING OVER MY SHOULDER TELLING ME WHAT CARD TO MOVE".

Thanks to David Childs
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Guy gets back from a weekend fishin trip.
Wife says, "How did the trip go."
Guy says, "Great, but you didn't pack me any underwear."
Wife says, " Yes I did............ I put them in your tackle box."

Thanks to David Childs
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"The Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."
"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!'" (Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.)
"She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten."
"Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

Thanks to Waneta
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Many people seem to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so willing to commit suicide. Let's see now...

No Jesus
No Christmas
No television
No cheerleaders
No nude women
No car races
No football
No soccer
No pork BBQ
No hot dogs
No burgers
No chocolate chip cookies
No lobster
No nachos
No beer nuts
No beer !!!!!!!!
Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors.
Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
More than one wife.
You can't shave.
Your wives can't shave.
You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
Your bride is picked by someone else.
She smells just like your donkey.
Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!

I mean, really, is there a mystery here?

Thanks to Buzzy
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Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

Thanks to Waneta
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Sisters Out of Gas

Returning after traveling a great distance by car to get medical supplies for their small clinic, the nuns ran out of gas quite literally "in the middle of nowhere." They knew the area well; no gas for miles in either direction. Not wanting to leave the supplies, and not wanting to be separated, they began to pray. Just then a gas tanker stopped, and the driver asked, "Sisters, what is wrong?" They explained their gas gauge was stuck and they had run out of gas.

He replied that his tanker was empty and he was on his way to load fuel for one of his routes. But on inspection he found he had a little in one of his lines; however, he had no bucket to catch the remaining tidbit of fuel.

"Bed pans," replied one sister. "We have bed pans!" With that, they got out the bed pans and gratefully caught all of the last little bit of gas in the tanker. Then the driver said, "Sisters, I am short on time I must go!" The sisters thanked him and poured the gas into the car.

As they were pouring in the last little bit, a highway patrolman pulled up got out of the patrol car and stared in disbelief. "Sisters, I've no idea what you have done, but I sure admire your faith!"

Received from Anonamous.

(-:][:-)

Pharmacist Joke

A pharmacist walked into his pharmacy and saw a man standing tightly against a wall making a funny face, so he asked the technician working that day, "What is going on?"

She said, "Well, he came in with a bad cough and asked for a cough suppressant, but we are out of it so I sold him a laxative."

The pharmacist said loudly, "Laxatives won't suppress a cough!"

She said, "I know that, but look at him -- he doesn't dare cough."

Received from Dr. Michael A Trenga.

(-:][:-)

Roughing It

A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska for a trip that the husband had long dreamed of taking. He kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity, to hunt moose, and drive a dog team instead of a car.

"If we decided to live there permanently, away from civilization, what would you miss the most?" he asked his wife.

She replied, "You."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Truth in Seminars

The company I work for sometimes holds "Lunch and Learn" seminars for employees during lunchtime. These deal with a variety of physical and mental health issues. If the seminar lasts beyond the normal lunch hour, we're supposed to get managerial approval to attend.

So, last week, this flyer came around:

LUNCH AND LEARN SEMINAR: WHO'S CONTROLLING YOUR LIFE? (Get your manager's permission before attending)

Looks like that question's been answered ...

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Nine Habits Other People Have That I Hate

/* Thanks to all of you that have donated to keep GCFL up and running without the need for ads. Donations have been a bit lighter than usual this time, but that was expected given the slump in the economy. Still, many of you sent in donations, as well as kind words and encouragement and I appreciate it! - John Price */

Written by Ben Connolly
(edited by GCFL)

1. When someone points at his wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is, pal; where is yours?

2. Someone who is willing to get off the couch to search the entire room for the TV remote because he refuses to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say, "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Of course I do! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say, "It's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why in the world would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a movie at the theater, "Did you see that?" No, loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.

6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, sunshine?

7. When something is "new and improved." Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.

8.When people say, "Life is short." What are they talking about?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does and still remembers! What can you do on earth that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here?

Received from Emily G.

(-:][:-)

Bridal Registry Blooper

(From "JCPeople," the company newsletter of J.C. Penney, Inc., April 2001, Vol. 3. No. 4)

A bride-to-be called to make a change to her wedding registry. It is common, almost expected, that a bride will change something on her registry at least once (dish pattern, color of towels, etc.). The Customer Service Representative told her that J.C. Penney would be happy to make the change.

She asked if the bride wanted to change the dishes or the linens. The bride said, "No, keep all that." She just wanted to change the name of the groom.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Traffic Camera

A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again. He tried a fourth time with the same result. The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for driving without a fastened seat belt.

Received from Retief de Villiers.

(-:][:-)

Dental Work

A guy went to his dentist for a checkup, and the dentist saw that his dental plate was all corroded.

The dentist asked, "What have you been doing? Have you changed your diet or anything?"

The patient said, "I've discovered Hollandaise sauce and eat it every chance I get. Maybe that's what's causing the problem."

The dentist answered, "Oh, I see. In that case, I'll make you a new plate out of chrome."

The patient was puzzled. "Chrome? Why chrome?" he asked.

The dentist answered, "Because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

Received from Heidi Hass.

(-:][:-)

Thirteen

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, "13...13....13...13."

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.

Some jerk then poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting, "14...14...14...14."

Received from Michael B. Wright (Tampa).

(-:][:-)

Signs Your SUV Is Too Big

~ The last time you took your kids to a Monster Truck pull, the parking attendants directed you right onto the stadium racetrack.
~ When you replaced your tires, Goodyear stock went up five dollars a share for the quarter.
~ Your garage is larger than your house.
~ One of those "Oversize Load" escort trucks has to precede you down the interstate.
~ Your kids refer to riding the bus to school as "downsizing."
~ Before you go out, you have to file for a parade permit.
~ You're the first one in your neighborhood to own a 2004 Halliburton-Rolling House S-Class twin-turbo.
~ It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo Metro into orbit.
~ There are two successful Starbucks franchises located in the back.
~ It doubles as a carport for your Taurus.
~ It's great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down into an entire field, complete with goals.
~ You need a Sherpa and an oxygen tank to reach the driver's seat.
~ Your buddy riding shotgun is in a different time zone.
~ Mortgage payment = $2200. Texaco card payment = $2201.
~ You get a letter from Hans Blix demanding that it be dismantled immediately because it qualifies as a WMD.

~ The fuel gauge doubles as a fan.

Received from Andy Maslin.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
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The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/parental.html - - PARENTAL PROPOSAL
The "help wanted" pages are filled with job descriptions that defy comprehension. This probably explains why so many parents can't quite figure out what it is their children do for a living. And it can lead to parental queries like this one from my mother-in-law to my husband Mark:

"Tell me exactly what your job is. Go slowly. I have to write it down."

Mark hadn't switched employers or secured a promotion; he's been doing essentially the same work for ten years. So why the sudden curiosity? Because his parents recently attended a wedding packed with inquisitive relatives. Relatives who appeared to be more interested in Mark's career than they were in the bride and groom.

"Jeff/Harry/Beth is doing great. He/she's a CPA/GYN/PHD," they reportedly said. "So how's Mark? What did you say he does?"

"Something with computers," my mother-in-law answered at first. "And banking, I think."

"That's sounds nice," they responded, "but what exactly does he do?"

"Well I'm not sure, but I know it's very important. So doesn't Sheila make a lovely bride?"

"How could you not know what your own son does for a living?" they prodded, refusing to be distracted by something as inconsequential as the bride's appearance. "What is he -- some kind of spy?"

"Everyone thinks you're with the CIA," Mark's mother complained the moment she came home. "They kept me so busy with their questions, I almost missed dessert. The only way I got to the ruggelah, was to promise to write and explain precisely what you do. So what do you do?"

For the next hour I listened as Mark tried to describe his job, and his mother grew more and more confused. Do other people have this problem, I wondered. So I decided to ask some friends.

"I just tell my folks I work with numbers," an econometrics expert told me. "It doesn't really satisfy them, but it's the best I can do."

"All my parents know is I work with lab rats," said a scientist friend whose job I can't begin to describe.

"I do junk bond work," replied a securities attorney. "How would you like to explain that to your parents?"

The solution to this job generation gap came to me as I listened to the tenth description of an indescribable job. From now on, at least once a year, we should take our parents to work with us. After all, there's already an annual Take Our Daughters To Work Day and a strong move afoot to include sons. But, shockingly, nobody has protested the exclusion of parents. Such blatant discrimination goes to the very essence of parenting -- parents' inalienable right to brag about their kids.

Imagine the educational benefit of parents sitting with their children at the conference table/laboratory/computer room. Witnessing their daughters' demos and their sons' presentations. Watching their offspring interact with bosses, clients, co-workers (both enemies and friends). Gazing as their progeny dodge phone calls, pound keyboards, glare at computer screens, and curse the invention of the fax machine.

There are risks, of course. Dad may cross-examine the boss about health insurance and the company's retirement plan. Mom may whip out a tape measure and compare office footage on her hands and knees. Both will conclude you're smarter than your boss and make sure to let him know it. And you can be sure that one of them will demand to know when you're getting a promotion.

But despite the risks, we owe it to our parents to expose them to our work environments. Besides, a discreetly whispered warning is usually all it takes to get parents to behave. The warning? "If you get me fired, I'll move back home."

Mark is very excited by my idea and plans to try it at his firm next month. What does Mark do? Something with computers. And banking, I think.

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
1st Published Bridge News
http://www.madkane.com/
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You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation.
You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
~ The late Dr. Adrian Rogers (1931-2005) ~

Thanks to Gary Foreman
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Rohm & Haas says Dow using scare tactics - - Dow responds, saying negotiation details should remain private - - By Michael Kitchen, MarketWatch

The Philadelphia-based specialty materials firm said Dow still has "the resources and flexibility" to complete its planned acquisition, but has instead "embarked on an aggressive campaign in an attempt to frighten our employees, communities and customers with its statements."

DOW 9.53, -0.51, -5.1%) had said Tuesday that changes in the chemical business and overall global economy had scuttled its $15 billion purchase of Rohm & Haas (ROH:Rohm and Haas Company
ROH 59.47, -0.28, -0.5%) , and it warned that efforts to force Dow to honor the deal could tip both companies into bankruptcy. Read full story on Dow's warning against a forced merger.

But in an open letter to Dow's board Sunday, Rohm & Haas said that Dow had been uncooperative during recent meetings on the stalled merger.
"At none of those meetings, despite our repeated requests, did Dow's representatives provide ours with meaningful details of what Dow is doing to secure financing for the merger, to address the concerns of the rating agencies, or take other actions necessary to close the transaction as soon as possible," Rohm & Haas said in the letter.
"Dow's actions continue to be severely damaging to our company. For several months we jointly steered towards integration with the Dow Chemical Company. Now, we confront uncertainty, heavily impacting employees, customers and suppliers," the letter said.
Rohm & Haas said it would provide whatever assistance was needed to complete the deal and that its board hoped to avoid litigation over the merger agreement.
Dow responds
Dow responded to the Rohm & Haas letter, by saying it had "responded in good faith" to requests for talks and that it still remains open to a deal.
"Dow continues to evaluate all options toward a successful close of the transaction, and despite the public posturing of Rohm & Haas, Dow remains willing to engage in a constructive dialogue with Rohm & Haas concerning those issues," the chemical giant said in comments emailed to MarketWatch.
It also accused its erstwhile acquisition target of "continu[ing] in its practice of publicly releasing what Dow believes should be private negotiations between the parties."
Dow originally announced the indefinite postponement of the merger on Jan. 26, saying it was forced to do so after Kuwait's Petrochemical Industries Co. backed out of a $17.4 billion joint venture in late December.
Michael Kitchen is a copy editor for MarketWatch and is based in New York.

[http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/rohm-haas-dow-using/story.aspx?guid=%7B66AE7BB3%2D062E%2D4CAB%2D80C6%2DAF739EF15C28%7D]
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Christian One Liners

Don't let your worries get the
Best of you; remember, Moses started
Out as a basket case.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some people are kind, polite, and
Sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Many folks want to serve God,
But only as advisors.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
It is easier to preach ten sermons
Than it is to live one.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The good Lord didn't create anything
Without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
When you get to your wit's end,
You'll find God lives there.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
People are funny; they want the front
Of the bus, the middle of the road, and
The back of the church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation
Bangs on your front door forever.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Quit griping about your church;
If it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If the church wants a better pastor,
It only needs to pray for the one it has.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God Himself does not propose to judge
A man until he is dead. So why should you?
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some minds are like concrete
Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Peace starts with a smile.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
I don't know why some people
Change churches; what difference does
It make which one you stay home from?
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
A lot of church members who are singing
'Standing on the Promises'
Are just sitting on the premises.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We were called to be witnesses,
Not lawyers or judges.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Be ye fishers of men. You catch
Them - He'll clean them.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Coincidence is when God
Chooses to remain anonymous.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't put a question mark
Where God put a period.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't wait for 6 strong men
To take you to church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God doesn't call the qualified,
He qualifies the called.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God loves everyone, but probably prefers
'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God promises a safe landing,
Not a calm passage.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
He who angers you, controls you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Prayer:
Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The task ahead of us is never as
Great as the Power behind us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The Will of God never takes you to
Where the Grace of God will not protect you.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We don't change the message,
The message changes us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
You can tell how big a person is
By what it takes to discourage him.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The best mathematical equation
I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

Thanks to Waneta
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CRABBY DAD. . . . . by Catherine Moore

'Watch out! You nearly broad-sided that car!' My father yelled at me. 'Can't you do anything right?' Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle.
'I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving.' My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.
Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil.
What could I do about him?
Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess.
The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.
Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived.
But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.
My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind. But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.
The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered. In vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, 'I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article.' I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.
I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs. They all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons, too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.
I pointed to the dog. 'Can you tell me about him?' The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement.
'He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him, that was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow.' He gestured helplessly.
As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. 'You mean you're going to kill him?'
'Ma'am,' he said gently, 'that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog.'
I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. 'I'll take him,' I said.
I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch.
'Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!' I said excitedly.
Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. 'If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it' Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.
Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples.
'You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!' Dad ignored me. 'Did you hear me, Dad?' I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.
We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.
Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal.
It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne . Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.
Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne 's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.
Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.
The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. 'Be not forgetful to entertain strangers.'
'I've often thanked God for sending that angel,' he said.
For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article.
Cheyenne 's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter, his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father, and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.
Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly.

Live While You Are Alive.

Thanks to Waneta
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And so it starts!!

Are you ready for the House Bill titled 'HR 45, Blair Holt Licensing and Record Act of 2009'. It will make it illegal to own a firearm unless it is registered with the database in Washington D.C. As a gun owner you will have to be finger printed, you will be required to provide your DL#, SS#, you must maintain a valid address at all times, submit to mental and physical health records being put on file, you will also be required to file any address changes and you any ownership changes even if private sale. Each update will cost $25 and if you fail to comply you will lose your right to own firearms. This bill and its language mirror almost completely one defeated last year in the House of Representatives by soon to be Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel. We the citizenry be as lucky this time?
Criminals by definition and nature do not abide by laws. New laws and restrictions only apply to the law abiding citizen and are not written with the criminal in mind. With guns, it is not about having laws on the books to prosecute individuals, it is about taking guns away from the people so that no one has them in the first place. One last item to note, when assuming power and creating a fascist state, Hitler was a proponent of strong gun laws because a disarmed populace was much easier to control than an armed one. The kings of old also outlawed weapons of any kind in any region that they conquered to quell the ability of the citizens to up rise against them.

The Founding Fathers of this nation understood all of the above and because of this they included the second amendment in the constitution. In fact, they knew that at some point in every society's life span that the need for the population to arise came about. To this end they made they right to keep and bear arms against a tyrannical state an absolute right that could not be revoked. They did this because the first thing tyrants and despots do is to remove a populations right to defend themselves. When this is done the tyrants have no problem with the destruction of society as we know it.

The following is a summary of the bill as provided by the Congressional Research Service. If you read the whole bill, you'll find it will effectively preclude the ownership of ANY firearms by law-abiding people unless licensed by the Attorney General. How long do you think THAT would take??

Congressional Research Service Summary
The following summary was written by the Congressional Research Service, a well-respected nonpartisan arm of the Library of Congress. GovTrack did not write and has no control over these summaries.
1/6/2009--Introduced.
Blair Holt's Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act of 2009 - Amends the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act to prohibit a person from possessing a firearm unless that person has been issued a firearm license under this Act or a state system certified under this Act and such license has not been invalidated or revoked. Prescribes license application, issuance, and renewal requirements.
Prohibits transferring or receiving a qualifying firearm unless the recipient presents a valid firearms license, the license is verified, and the dealer records a tracking authorization number. Prescribes firearms transfer reporting and record keeping requirements. Directs the Attorney General to establish and maintain a federal record of sale system.
Prohibits: (1) transferring a firearm to any person other than a licensee, unless the transfer is processed through a licensed dealer in accordance with national instant criminal background check system requirements, with exceptions; (2) a licensed manufacturer or dealer from failing to comply with reporting and record keeping requirements of this Act; (3) failing to report the loss or theft of the firearm to the Attorney General within 72 hours; (4) failing to report to the Attorney General an address change within 60 days; or (5) keeping a loaded firearm, or an unloaded firearm and ammunition for the firearm, knowingly or recklessly disregarding the risk that a child is capable of gaining access, if a child uses the firearm and causes death or serious bodily injury.
Prescribes criminal penalties for violations of firearms provisions covered by this Act.
Directs the Attorney General to: (1) establish and maintain a firearm injury information clearinghouse; (2) conduct continuing studies and investigations of firearm-related deaths and injuries; and (3) collect and maintain current production and sales figures of each licensed manufacturer.
Authorizes the Attorney General to certify state firearm licensing or record of sale systems.

Thanks to David Lamb
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A Supplier's response to GM's request for bailout support

This is one of the best responses to the requests for bailout money I have seen thus far.

As a supplier for the Big 3 this man received a letter from the President of GM North America requesting support for the bail out program. His response is classic, and has to make you proud of a local guy who tells it like it is.......
First, this is the letter he got from GM to which his subsequent response is directed:
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Dear Employees and Suppliers,
Congress and the current Administration will soon determine whether to provide immediate support to the domestic auto industry to help it through one of the most difficult economic times in our nation's history. Your elected officials must hear from all of us now on why this support is critical to our continuing the progress we began prior to the global financial crisis.
As an employee or supplier, you have a lot at stake and continue to be one of our most effective and passionate voices.. I know GM can count on you to have your voice heard. Thank you for your urgent action and ongoing support.
Troy Clarke - President
General Motors North America
+++++++++++++++++++++
Response from:
Gregory Knox, Pres.
Knox Machinery Company
Franklin , Ohio

Gentlemen:
In response to your request to contact legislators and ask for a bailout for the Big Three automakers please consider the following, and please pass my thoughts on to Troy Clark, President of General Motors North America.

Politicians and Management of the Big 3 are both infected with the same entitlement mentality that has spread like cancerous germs in UAW halls for the last countless decades, and whose plague is now sweeping this nation, awaiting our new "messiah", Pres-elect Obama, to wave his magic wand and make all our problems go away, while at the same time allowing our once great nation to keep "living the dream". Believe me folks, The dream is over!

This dream where we can ignore the consumer for years while management myopically focuses on its personal rewards packages at the same time that our factories have been filled with the worlds most overpaid, arrogant, ignorant and laziest entitlement minded "laborers" without paying the price for these atrocities. This dream where you still think the masses will line up to buy our products for ever and ever.

Don't even think about telling me I'm wrong. Don't accuse me of not knowing of what I speak. I have called on Ford, GM, Chrysler, TRW, Delphi, Kelsey Hayes, American Axle and countless other automotive OEM's throughout the Midwest during the past 30 years and what I've seen over those years in these union shops can only be described as disgusting.

Troy Clarke, President of General Motors North America, states: "There is widespread sentiment throughout this country, and our government, and especially via the news media, that the current crisis is completely the result of bad management which it certainly is not."

You're right Mr. Clarke, it's not JUST management.

How about the electricians who walk around the plants like lords in feudal times, making people wait on them for countless hours while they drag ass so they can come in on the weekend and make double and triple time for a job they easily could have done within their normal 40 hour work week?

How about the line workers who threaten newbies with all kinds of scare tactics for putting out too many parts on a shift and for being too productive?

(We certainly must not expose those lazy bums who have been getting overpaid for decades for their horrific underproduction, must we?!?)

Do you folks really not know about this stuff?!? How about this great sentiment abridged from Mr. Clarke's sad plea: "over the last few years, we have closed the quality and efficiency gaps with our competitors." What the hell has Detroit been doing for the last 40 years?!? Did we really JUST wake up to the gaps in quality and efficiency between us and them?
The K-car vs. the Accord?
The Pinto vs. the Civic?!?
Do I need to go on? What a joke!

We are living through the inevitable outcome of the actions of the United States auto industry for decades. It's time to pay for your sins, Detroit .

I attended an economic summit last week where brilliant economist, Alan Beaulieu, from the Institute of Trend Research , surprised the crowd when he said he would not have given the banks a penny of "bailout money".
"Yes, he said, this would cause short term problems," but despite what people like politicians and corporate magnates would have us believe, the sun would in fact rise the next day. and the following very important thing would happen.. . where there had been greedy and sloppy banks, new efficient ones would pop up. That is how a free market system works. It does work if we would only let it work."

But for some nondescript reason we are now deciding that the rest of the world is right and that capitalism doesn't work - that we need the government to step in and "save us".

Save us my ass, Hell - we're nationalizing, and unfortunately too many of our once fine nation's citizens don't even have a clue that this is what is really happening. But, they sure can tell you the stats on their favorite sports teams. Yeah - THAT'S really important, isn't it.

Does it ever occur to ANYONE that the "competition" has been producing vehicles, EXTREMELY PROFITABLY, for decades in this country? How can that be??? Let's see. Fuel efficient. Listening to customers. Investing in the proper tooling and automation for the long haul.

Not being too complacent or arrogant to listen to Dr. W. Edwards Deming four decades ago when he taught that by adopting appropriate principles of management, organizations could increase quality and simultaneously reduce costs. Ever increased productivity through quality and intelligent planning. Treating vendors like strategic partners, rather than like "the enemy". Efficient front and back offices. Non union environment.

Again, I could go on and on, but I really wouldn't be telling anyone anything they really don't already know down deep in their hearts.

I have six children, so I am not unfamiliar with the concept of wanting someone to bail you out of a mess that you have gotten yourself into - my children do this on a weekly, if not daily basis, as I did when I was their age. I do for them what my parents did for me (one of their greatest gifts, by the way) - I make them stand on their own two feet and accept the consequences of their actions and work through it. Radical concept, huh?

Am I there for them in the wings? Of course - but only until such time as they need to be fully on their own as adults.

I don't want to oversimplify a complex situation, but there certainly are unmistakable parallels here between the proper role of parenting and government. Detroit and the United States need to pay for their sins. Bad news, people - it's coming whether we like it or not. The newly elected Messiah really doesn't have a magic wand big enough to "make it all go away."

I laughed as I heard Obama "reeling it back in" almost immediately after the final vote count was tallied. "we really might not do it in a year or in four." Where the Hell was that kind of talk when he was RUNNING for office?

Stop trying to put off the inevitable folks . That house in Florida really isn't worth $750,000. People who jump across a border really don't deserve free health care benefits. That job driving that forklift for the Big 3 really isn't worth $85,000 a year. We really shouldn't allow Wal-Mart to stock their shelves with products acquired from a country that unfairly manipulates their currency and has the most atrocious human rights infractions on the face of the globe.

That couple whose combined income is less than $50,000 really shouldn't be living in that $485,000 home. Let the market correct itself folks - it will.
Yes it will be painful, but it's gonna' be painful either way, and the bright side of my proposal is that on the other side of it all, is a nation that appreciates what it has and doesn't live beyond its means and gets back to basics and redevelops the patriotic work ethic that made it the greatest nation in the history of the world and probably turns back to God.

Sorry - don't cut my head off, I'm just the messenger sharing with you the "bad news". I hope you take it to heart.

Gregory J. Knox, President
Knox Machinery, Inc.
Franklin , Ohio 45005

Thanks to Gary Foreman
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Congress Must Think We're Stupid! from Mike Huckabee

I learned a few tricks and tactics while I was a lieutenant governor and governor for over 13 1/2 years. And one thing is that when someone is in a hurry to pass legislation, you'd better slow it down because the reason to hurry a law is rarely urgency to help the citizens, but urgency to get it passed before people find out what the heck it really is.
A lot of legislation is like garbage and it's garbage the first day in the can, but if it sits there long enough, it really starts smelling.
Congress knows that the so-called stimulus bill is garbage, but hope it gets voted on before it sits there long enough to start smelling.
If you sent your kid to college and in less than a month he spent all the money you sent with him for the semester and then, on top of that, maxed out the credit card you loaned him for extreme emergencies, what would you do?
Would you say, hey, let me give you even more money than before and another credit card, but don't tell me how you spent that first bunch of money and it's not even necessary to tell me how you'll spend the new money I'm sending?
Not hardly. You'd want a full accounting of what he did with all your money since you now have to work even harder to replace it.
And, before you gave him any more, you'd put very strict controls on how he spends it.
Congress must think we're stupid. And maybe we are: We did send these guys back.
But they've spent all the money we sent them in taxes. They've run up a debt that our children and even grandchildren will have to pay and they don't really even know what they've done with the money.
Somehow, they think that if we're in this horrible mess because they spent, borrowed and squandered billions, they can fix it if we just let them spend, borrow and squander trillions.
And we even have a new treasury secretary to oversee it all - who didn't know how to use TurboTax and didn't pay his own taxes for four years and had an illegal immigrant working in his house.

Here's the Huckabee plan:

Term limits for members of Congress - 12 years and go home.
Instead of automatic pay raises, you lose 2 percent of your congressional salary every year you don't balance the budget.
We end the congressional pension and you have to go into the same Social Security system we're in.
You get a fixed amount for health insurance and you pay for half of yours and all your family's and you go into the marketplace and buy it like we do.
You pass the "fair tax" and eliminate the burden on businesses and individuals trying to create jobs and you close the IRS - especially since the guy you just confirmed to run it doesn't even know he's supposed to pay taxes.
That's a start, but I have some other ideas that I'll bring up in future weeks.
If you want more information on the outrageous examples of waste in this pathetic pork-laden piece of **&^, go to my Web site at mikehuckabee.com and let me know what you think.

That's my view, I would love to hear from you.

Thanks to Gary Foreman
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A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:

'I don't believe that God exists.'

'Why do you say that?' asked the customer. 'Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist.
Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?
Would there be abandoned children?

If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain.
I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things.'

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard.
He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:

'You know what? Barbers do not exist.'
'How can you say that?' asked the surprised barber.
'I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!'
'No!' the customer exclaimed. 'Barbers don't exist because
if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.'

'Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me.'

'Exactly!' affirmed the customer. 'That's the point! God, too, DOES exist!
That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help.
That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world.'

Thanks to Ricky and Sarah
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Vol 14, Number 11
11 Feb 2009

MagicJack Scam? / Windows7 / Firewalls / HD MiniCams / Best Browsers In today's TOURBUS, we'll revisit MagicJack and find out if it's really spyware in disguise. I've also got the scoop on upgrading to Windows 7, and some important information on how to protect yourself with a Firewall. You'll also find my review of seven HD MiniCams, a list of the top ten Web Browsers, and your options for Parental Control software. Read on!

MagicJack - Good or Evil? After writing about the Magic Jack device last month, I've received a flood of comments. Most people seem to love this gadget, which connects your phone to your computer and provides unlimited phone service for $20 a year.
Others were vocal in their dislike for the product, claiming that Magic Jack contains spyware and that the company may be selling private information. So I decided to investigate for myself... [http://askbobrankin.com/magic_jack_good_or_evil.html]

Upgrading to Windows 7 - - Windows 7 will probably be available by year-end 2009, and according to the early testers, it's everything that Vista should have been. So while Mac users happily smirk at the "I'm a Mac" commercials, you should be thinking about your upgrade options.
If you're like me and never saw the benefit in moving from XP to Vista, your upgrade path to W7 may be a little bumpy. Read on to learn which version of Windows 7 you should plan for, and how much it will cost... [http://askbobrankin.com/upgrading_to_windows_7.html]

Free Firewall Protection - - Firewalls can be used to block unwanted access to your computer, or to keep rogue software from sending your personal info back to Hacker HQ.
But should you rely on the firewall built into your router, use free firewall software, or pay for one of the commercially available packages? Read on to get the scoop on firewalls, and my list of the best free firewall tools.
FIREWALL FAQ [http://askbobrankin.com/do_i_need_a_firewall.html]
FREE FIREWALLS [http://askbobrankin.com/free_firewall_protection.html]

HD Mini Cams - - I loved the Flip Video Cam when it first came out. But since then, Flip and other companies have come out with high-definition models that produce awesome quality videos and slip right into your pocket. The price of HD mini cams has fallen below $200, with some as low as $100.
Let's look at the Flip MinoHD and compare it to a batch of other HD mini cams, to see which is right for you... HD MINICAMS [http://askbobrankin.com/hd_mini_cams.html]

Which Web Browser is Best? - - A reader asks: "I have friends who have stopped using Internet Explorer and they're always telling me that Firefox or some other browser is better. What are my choices, and which one is best for the average internet user?"
Internet Explorer is still used by most people, but Firefox and others are gaining fast. I've put together a summary on six of the most popular browsers, and a list of alternative browsers you might want to check out... TOP TEN BROWSERS [http://askbobrankin.com/best_web_browser.html]

Parental Control Software - - I understand the concerns of parents with kids who want to go online. There's a lot of fun stuff for kids, but how do you protect them from material that's either age-inappropriate, offensive, or potentially harmful?
Parental control software is available to protect children online, but not everyone agrees about the effectiveness or even the necessity of parental control software. Learn more and see your options here... PARENTAL CONTROLS [http://askbobrankin.com/parental_control_software.html]

Here's Your Stimulus Package... - - All the turmoil on Wall Street is a good reminder that we need to take CONTROL of OUR OWN FINANCIAL SITUATION. My good friend Leo Quinn has a ridiculously simple plan that can virtually guarantee that you will be debt free in 10 years or less -- including your mortgage. He's helped over 18,212 people do exactly that. I call it LEO-nomics, he calls it "How To Own Your Paycheck Again!"
Leo has a special offer for TOURBUS riders that will help you get out of debt, and protect yourself from the economic downturn. Start making smart choices today - click below and learn more...
TAKE CONTROL! [http://www.leoquinn.com/b/bobrankin/index.html]
+ ------------------------------------- +
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+ ------------------------------------- +
That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin
+ ------------------------------------- +
====[ Tourbus Rider Information ]====
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.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
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---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.

Friday Blog Roundup - - http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/

Bloggers help us stay up to date on the stimulus package’s latest permutation:

Kate Sheppard at Gristmill [http://gristmill.grist.org/story/2009/2/12/83439/6486?source=rss] gives us the rundown on funding for green priorities
Scientists & Engineers for America Action Fund [http://sefora.org/2009/02/11/economic-recovery-conference-reportscience-wins/] compiles the numbers on science funding
Jake Young at Pure Pedantry [http://scienceblogs.com/purepedantry/2009/02/scientists_should_be_skeptical.php] warns of pitfalls when science funding takes this form
Keith Johnson at Environmental Capital [http://blogs.wsj.com/environmentalcapital/2009/02/11/train-spotting-wheres-the-stimulus-money-for-high-speed-rail/] isn’t impressed with the money the Senate allocated to high-speed rail (UPDATE: The Transport Politic [http://thetransportpolitic.com/2009/02/12/final-stimulus-bill-rewards-hsr-massively-falls-somewhere-between-house-and-senate-on-transit/] - via How the World Works [http://www.salon.com/tech/htww/] - reports that HSR got more money in the final bill)
Ezra Klein [http://www.prospect.org/csnc/blogs/ezraklein_archive?month=02&year=2009&base_name=balancing_the_budget_on_the_ba] argues that cuts in health-project funding will hurt the poor

http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

A partial list of workplace fatalities.

3 oil field workers killed in accidents - - February Casper, Wyoming - Three men have died in Wyoming's oil fields over the past month or so. Fremont County Coroner Ed McAuslan says 54-year-old Charles MacLachlan, of Mannford, Okla., died at a drilling rig site north of Shoshoni on Dec. 31. The coroner's report says MacLachlan was crushed by a trailer hauling sand to the rig site. McAuslan reports that 20-year-old Jeremy Jorgenson, of Fort Washakie, was killed in a one-car rollover northwest of Riverton on Jan. 1. Jorgenson reportedly had left a job site in the oil fields. The Sublette County Sheriff's Office says 29-year-old Quinn Reay Jessen suffered a head injury Jan. 5 on a rig near Pinedale and died Jan. 11. The accident is being investigated.

Police identify Neb. man killed in work accident - - January 30, Lincolon, Nebraska - Lincoln police have identified the 51-year-old man who died in an accident at a soybean processing plant. Police say Robert Fitch died Thursday morning after falling some 30 feet at the Archer Daniels Midland plant in southwest Lincoln. Investigators say Fitch fell from an interior lift, similar to an elevator. He was taken to a local hospital, where he died from an apparent head injury. The plant makes vegetable oil.

Auburndale Worker Killed in Construction Accident - - January 29, Auburndale, Florida – A 42-year-old Auburndale construction worker died Thursday morning in an accident at the city's wastewater plant. Mark Ingram was pinned between a concrete wastewater junction box and the bucket of a trackhoe. He was assisting coworkers in preparations to lower the junction box into the ground when the trackhoe shifted, crushing him against the concrete box. Ingram, who was working for Indian River Industrial Contractors, died at the scene, said Auburndale Police Lt. Thrasey Tucker. “This was purely an accident,” he said. “From a law enforcement perspective, there is no foul play, nothing of a criminal nature.”

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01. CW4 Milton E. Suggs, 51, of Lockport, La., died Jan. 30 at Camp Lemonier, Djibouti, of injuries sustained from a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 38th Operational Support Airlift Detachment, Hammond, La.

02. Sgt. Darrell L. Fernandez, 25, of Truth or Consequences, N.M., died Jan. 31 in Kirkuk, Iraq, of injuries sustained during a vehicle accident. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 67th Armor Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

03. Sgt. James M. Dorsey, 23, of Beardstown, Ill., died Feb. 8 in Kamaliyah, Iraq, in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 66th Armor Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

04. Spc. Christopher P. Sweet, 28, of Kahului, Hawaii, died Feb. 6 in Kirkush, Iraq, of injuries sustained from a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 66th Armor Regiment, 172d Separate Infantry Brigade, Grafenwoehr, Germany.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Feb. 8 in Kabul, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered from an improvised explosive device. They were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 130th Infantry Regiment of Marion, Ill. Killed were:
05. Staff Sgt. Jason E. Burkholder, 27, of Elida, Ohio.
06. 1st Lt. Jared W. Southworth, 26, of Oakland, Ill.

07. Lance Cpl. Kevin T. Preach, 21, of Bridgewater, Mass., died Feb. 7 from wounds he received Jan. 24 while supporting combat operations in Farah province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Feb. 10 in Salerno, Afghanistan, of injuries suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle. The soldiers were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky. Killed were:

08. Spc. Peter J. Courcy, 22, of Frisco, Texas.
09. Pfc. Jason R. Watson, 19, of Many, La.

The Department of Defense announced the death of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Feb. 9 in Mosul, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle. They were assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas. Killed were:
10. Lt. Col. Garnet R. Derby, 44, of Missoula, Mont.
11. Sgt. Joshua A. Ward, 30, of Scottsville, Ky.
12. Pfc. Albert R. Jex, 23, of Phoenix, Ariz.
13. Pfc. Jonathan R. Roberge, 22, of Leominster, Mass.
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner-News through e-mail?
E-mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner-News.
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Num 11:4-6, 10 Num 22:27-31 Psa 17:6-8 Gen 36:19-24 Deu 32:33-35 Heb 9:13-14 Gen 24:43-46 Psa 13 Gal 6:6-7 Num 6:22-26 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

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1 comment:

  1. Thank you again, Fresh Air Fund bloggers and Twitterers, for all the support you have shown the Fresh Air Fund and us, Abraham Harrison, in support of finding both camp counselors and host families for this summer season, 2009! We are so grateful for your support and look forward to working with you in the future! Here's everyone -- and if we missed you, please let me know!
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