Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Talking Clock

Volume 11, Issue 05 Friday, January 30, 2009

Hello All,

On the way to church Sunday, Annette suddenly said; “It’s cold this morning, don’t roll down the window.” Now I hadn’t said anything about the window and didn’t have any intention of rolling it down, but her words piked my curiosity and I said “What do you mean?” She replied. “Don’t roll down the window.”
I racked my brain for anytime I’d ever just rolled down the window on the way to church but I couldn’t come up with one. So I asked again; “What do you mean?” She said more empathetically; “Don’t roll down the window!” So I rolled her window down.
She said; “Not mine, yours!” So I rolled the driver’s window down. Boy, it was cold. So I quickly rolled it back up. Or ... I tried to roll it back up. It wouldn’t budge.
And Annette said; “See. I told you not to roll the window down. It won’t roll up when it’s below 50F.”
~
When will I ever learn?
~~~~~
The "Stimulus" package is like a snowball rolling down hill. Unfortunately, we're the ones that will end up in economic "hell" if the "government does everything better" crowd has their way. Keep those calls, emails, cards and letters going to your senators and representatives.
~~~~~
We’ve joined “Facebook” and have learned that there is not enough time in a life to be on “Facebook”. It’s both addictive and enlightening. I’m using it to connect with old classmates and prepare for our 40th Graduation Reunion.
But you can’t just keep it to a simple task like that. I find myself looking at other folks “Wall” comments and other postings. One of those “wall” postings this week brought me back to life on a college campus in the ‘60s.
Last week I posted a couple of photos of a Kent State protest march we conducted at Southern State College. One of the folks identified in the photos was Ken Gueritz (who we called “Diver.”) That posting tickled the memory of another classmate, Mindy (Phillips) Lawrence who asked the question; “What happened to Diver, I wonder?"
So I decided to see if I could find Diver. I quickly ran into another type of “wall” and was unsuccessful in my initial search. However I did find another item that really counterpoises President Obama’s election; a report of an incident involving Southern State College students and a local church which occurred in 1968 ...
~
Shortly after the beginning of the fall term, a small group of SSC students organized a biracial student organization, Students United for Rights and Equality (SURE). It was officially recognized by the College in late October, 1968.
On Sunday, December 8, 1968, five black female students attempted to attend services at a local off-campus, all-white church. Since the church was not integrated, the students were asked to leave. This incident was reported to SURE who wrote a letter to the pastor of the church. A copy of the letter was mailed to the President of the College.
The college investigated the matter, criticized those involved in the incident, asked the student who authored the letter to resign from his elected position with SURE, and asked SURE's two faculty advisors, both of whom had approved of the letter, to resign from their advisory positions.
~
So, just 40 years ago, black college students were not allowed to attend a “white” church here and today, we have a President of the United States who is a man of color. We shouldn’t forget how far we’ve come.
~
Here’s the link to the court’s opinion on the incident [http://bulk.resource.org/courts.gov/c/F2/430/430.F2d.595.19881_1.html] and a copy of the letter the students sent to the church:
Dear Sir: On Sunday Morning, December 8, 1968, a small group of Southern State College students went to your church to attend worship services.
After the students were seated in the sanctuary, they were approached by a man, presumably a member of your congregation, who asked them to come with him to the church lobby. When they followed the man, at his request, into a room off the lobby, he asked them to leave the church. The reason he gave for asking these students to go somewhere else to worship was that the ... Church is not an integrated church and its members are not ready for integration.
The action of these college students in exercising their right to freedom of worship in a church of their choice was a purely individual action. However, since the promotion of social understanding and human rights are among the primary purposes of our organization, we feel obliged to inquire into the situation. Action such as that taken by a man in your church on December 8 is not in accord with the basic tenets of Christianity, as you must be even more aware of than we are. Therefore, we respectfully request some explanation from you. We ask you to let us know whether or not the man who escorted the students out of your church was a church official, or whether his behavior reflected a purely personal bias. We also wish to know whether your church has an official policy concerning the freedom of college students to worship among you without regard to race, creed, color, or national origin.
~
One statement in the letter illuminates the situation, at that time. The church representative stated that “... members are not ready for integration.” All of us have to learn to adapt to change. This particular church wasn’t ready for change at that time. Fact is, many times we have to be pushed into change. Most of us don’t want to get out of our comfort zone.
~
I was aware of the incident at that time and I was conflicted about it. I knew the folks in that church and understood that they were being forced out of their comfort zone. I also knew some of the students who attempted to integrate Magnolia churches and thought I understood their frustration with the “walls” that had been erected in their lives.
Just a little over 10 years later, Annette and I would help found the first integrated church in Magnolia. Then, not quite 30 years after that, Annette and I would watch the inauguration of President Obama.
~~~~~
Being laid off reminds me of my Uncle Durwood's comment about being rich. "If I was rich I wouldn't work and I never could stand a lazy so and so who wouldn't work."
I, on the other hand, could really get to liking not having to go to work. However, President Obama hasn't put me "on the dole" yet so I continue to spend my time networking and job hunting.
~~~~~
My good buddy Joe Tudor has joined the ranks of bloggers. Check him out at [http://parapetsafety.wordpress.com/]
~~~~~
Don’t forget to use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] when you search the Internet!
~~~~~
What is A1c? “Hemoglobin A1c” is a measure of your blood glucose control over a period of two to three months. So, you can eat right for the week before your doctor’s appointment and they can still run an A1c blood test and see what you’ve been doing over the last 90 days or so. Typically, a diabetic wants their A1c to be below “7". My A1c’s usually run around 6.3. Well, what does that mean?
Here’s a chart called the “eAG” to help you interpret those numbers. 5.0% A1c = 97 mg/dl estimated average glucose, 5.5 = 112, 6.0 = 126, 6.5 = 140, 7.0 = 154, 7.5 = 169, 8.0 = 183, 8.5 = 197, 9.0 = 212, 9.5 = 226, 10.0 = 240, 11.0 = 269, 12.0 = 298, 13.0 = 326, 14.0 = 355.
~~~~~
GAO calls on EPA to overhaul chemical-safety rules - - The Government Accountability Office said in a report this month that the EPA should completely reform the 32-year-old Toxic Substances Control Act. "ACC has been concerned for some time that the [Integrated Risk Information System] process was moving more slowly than desired, not only in output, but also with incorporating scientific advances in risk assessment," the American Chemistry Council said in a statement. Royal Society of Chemistry/Chemistry [http://www.rsc.org/chemistryworld/News/2009/January/29010901.asp]
~~~~~
A partial list of agencies in Magnolia that need your help (either financial or volunteer.)
~
STEW POT - COMMUNITY FOOD SERVICE
320 West Main Street
Magnolia, AR 71753
Columbia County
resourceone@sbcglobal.net
(870) 901-7226 FAX
(870) 234-9034 Administrative
Provides hot meals for the senior adults and people who are homeless or have developmental disabilities. Simply walk in to apply. There is no for service and there are no eligibility requirements.
Hours:4:00pm to 5:30pm, Mon. - Fri.
~
SOUTHERN CHRISTIAN MISSION - HOMELESS SHELTER
515 West Monroe Street, Magnolia, AR 71753 (870) 235-1155
Provides a shelter for people needing a place to stay. Simply walk in to apply or call for information. There is no fee for service and no eligibility requirements. This shelter is open 24 Hours a day, 7 Days a week.
~
HANNAH MEDICAL CENTER - CRISIS PREGNANCY CENTER
251 Columbia 13, Magnolia AR 71753 (870) 234-8070 Phone, 1-866-74-Women Toll Free, E-MAIL: magnolia@itsyourfuture.org,
HOURS: Tue & Thu 12-5
SERVICES: pregnancy tests, limited ultrasound when appropriate, abstinence education, parenting program, maternity & children’s clothes, peer counseling in pre/post abortion and adoption
NEEDS: prayer, ultrasound, financial assistance, volunteers
~~~~~
UPDATE TO Taylor - Voigt Family/Friends Cookbook
Our cousin, Shannon Voigt, is planning to update the Taylor-Voigt Family/Friends Cookbook this spring. If you have any great new family recipes you would like added please email them to me by the end of February and I’ll forward them to Shannon.
~~~~~
Just a reminder that those looking for quality, free photo editing software should try “GIMP” [http://www.gimp.org/]. [http://www.gimp.org/tutorials/].
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - Are You As Honest As A 5th Grader? - - http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/kids/index.html
January 30, 2009 - - I have received a lot of amazing feedback on the story [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/blogarchive/blog_090127_friendsjourney.html] I posted earlier this week. I'm talking about the one where I share the very personal journey of supporting my friend, Heidi, through a difficult time in her life. Now, Heidi, herself has weighed in. You can see her thoughts [http://darynkagan.ning.com/forum/topics/daryn-shares-a-friends-very] over in our social online community [http://darynkagan.ning.com/]. There's always room for more, so feel free to sign up [http://darynkagan.ning.com/main/authorization/signUp?] and share your thoughts, as well.

Today's Story: Piggyback On Greatness
Are you hungry to make an impact and a difference in the world? In today's blogideo I share how you don't have to give up your whole life to make a difference. It's as simple as piggybacking on someone else's greatness. I know because I did just that.
Watch Video [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/blogarchive/blog_090130_piggyback.html]

Are You As Honest As A 5th Grader?
What would you do if you found a wallet stuffed with $500 cash? Brooklyn 5th grader Kemoy Gourzang knew just what to do, even if other kids were pressuring him to do something else. A story about doing the right thing and celebrating good kids.

Read More [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/kids/index.html]
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Scott Montoya - - Hometown: West Covina, CA - -
Awarded: The Navy Cross

Small-arms fire rained down on the men of Company F, 2nd Battalion, 23rd Marines. Both Iraqi civilians and Marines were injured. Pinned down, with the injured needing assistance, Sgt. Scott C. Montoya rushed through enemy fire while "repeatedly exposing himself to fire-swept streets," according to his Navy Cross award citation.

Montoya received the U.S. military's second-highest award at Camp Pendleton for heroism stemming from his actions on April 8, 2003, two weeks into Operation Iraqi Freedom.

With his firearm in one hand engaging the enemy and a badly bleeding Marine in the other, he fought their way 500 yards to safety. He returned to the cross-fire again and dragged another - who'd been dazed by the concussion of a grenade blast - to a casualty collection point. In all, he rescued four injured Marines and one Iraqi civilian out of harm's way, according to his citation.

Montoya's "extraordinary heroism" arose out of the battle for Baghdad.

Montoya described it this way:

"I saw a hurt Marine and all my training came into play. It wasn't a cognitive thing; I just saw the situation and cared for my Marines."

Sgt. Jose N. Sanchez, a supply clerk with 2/23, has known Montoya for six years and wasn't surprised when he heard the news.

"The level he went - it's above and beyond the call of anyone, even a Marine," Sanchez said, adding: "What matters to him are his Marines, not the awards or the actions he took."

Montoya received the award in front of family, friends and the men of his unit. Orange County Sheriff Michael S. Carona was also present.

A deputy sheriff in Orange County, Montoya drew praise from many of his co-workers - including Carona.
"He is a complete warrior," Carona said.

"Whether as a Marine or as a law enforcement figure, he is always putting the community or the country above his own personal safety."

Carona alluded to Montoya's rapid response under fire.

"These things happen in the blink of a second, and an individual has to decide to be a hero or not. He decided to be one."

In the end, Montoya said, “It's just a medal.”

"Service before self is something I teach in the Marine Corps Martial Arts Program," continued Montoya, a MCMAP instructor for his unit. "I feel the award represents the character of the Corps."

Col. Geffery L. Cooper, the battalion's commanding officer during Operation Iraqi Freedom, said Montoya's award was well-deserved.

"It means a great deal to me that the Corps can recognize such Marines of valor in combat,” said Cooper. (Montoya) is a man of integrity and leadership, and his loyalty is unquestionable. He is a great example and advocate for all reservists.”

Excerpts from article written by Lance Cpl. Daniel J. Redding, The Scout, MCB Camp Pendleton
~~~~~
America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars.
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web. If you haven’t read Michael’s dispatches, I strongly urge you to do so at once. It’s important that we all know what’s happening in our world.
“Bug”
~
Greetings,

I am in Israel at a conference and to report on a few matters. More to follow: Please click [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/jerusalem.htm] to read

Very Respectfully,
Your correspondent,
Michael Yon

Http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php
~~~~~
Last week we watched [Ratings are my own]:
Hope Springs (2003) [6] Starring Colin firth, Heather Graham
The Women (2008) [5.5] Starring Meg Ryan, Eva Mendes
Alex and Emma (2003) [7.6] Starring Kate Hudson, Luke Wilson
Burn After Reading (2008) [2] Starring George Clooney, Frances McDormand
Kit Kittredge: An American Girl (2008) [7] Starring Abigail Breslin, Stanley Tucci
~~~~~
We’re currently reading; Six seconds / Rick Mofina.
We intend to read; The Romanov prophecy / Steve Berry. - Silent spring / Rachel Carson ; introduction by Linda Lear ; afterword by Edward O. Wilson ; [drawings by Lois and Louis Darling].
Born to run / James Grippando. - Dialogues of the dead, or, Paronomania! : a word game for two players / Reginald Hill.
We recommend: Do the right thing : inside the movement that's bringing common sense back to America / Mike Huckabee.
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include Annette watching Zac in a school play, and playing with Brandt and Pam Prince’s boys at the Shreveport Discovery Center. Two “Upward” Basketball players watch the action while waiting for their game to start.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat4q08.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see more photos of April’s train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Dr. Pat Antoon’s Address:
Pat Antoon 06669-010
Federal Prison Camp
P.O. Box 9300
Texarkana, TX 75505
Be sure and keep him in your prayers.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - Flemish Beef Stew
Recipe courtesy EatingWell.com

For this slow-cooker interpretation of Carbonnades Flamandes, a Flemish stew made with beer, if you can't find a brown ale, use a strong, dark beer (but not a stout).

Serves: 8 servings
Ingredients

4 teaspoons canola oil, divided
2 pounds bottom round, trimmed of fat and cut into 1-inch cubes
3/4 pound sliced cremini or white button mushrooms
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 cups brown ale or dark beer
4 large carrots, peeled and cut into 1-inch pieces
1 large onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 ½ tablespoons Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon caraway seeds
3/4 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1 bay leaf

Directions
Heat 2 teaspoons oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add half the beef and brown on all sides, turning frequently, about 5 minutes. Transfer to a 6-quart slow cooker. Drain any fat from the pan. Add the remaining 2 teaspoons oil and brown the remaining beef. Transfer to the slow cooker.

Return the skillet to medium heat, add mushrooms and cook, stirring often, until they give off their liquid and it evaporates to a glaze, 5 to 7 minutes. Sprinkle flour over the mushrooms; cook undisturbed for 10 seconds, then stir and cook for 30 seconds more. Pour in ale (or beer); bring to a boil, whisking constantly to reduce foaming, until thickened and bubbling, about 3 minutes. Transfer the mushroom mixture to the slow cooker.

Add carrots, onion, garlic, mustard, caraway seeds, salt, pepper and bay leaf to the slow cooker. Stir to combine.

Put the lid on and cook on low until the beef is very tender, about 8 hours. Discard the bay leaf before serving.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/lf_hl_eatingwell/recipe/0,1000060,FOOD_30878_100778,00.html
~~~~~
BreakPoint
Love Your Enemies
By Chuck Colson
1/30/2009
John Rucyahana Receives Wilberforce Award

In a large open area of a Rwandan prison, Anglican Bishop John Rucyahana spoke to a crowd of killers responsible for the 1994 genocide. “Close your eyes,” he instructed them. “Go back in your mind to 1994. What did you see?” he asked. “What did you smell? What did you hear?”

Many in the crowd began to weep. He told the men to see their victims’ faces. The sobs grew louder. “Now,” said Bishop John, “that which made you cry, that you must confess.”

It’s amazing enough that Bishop John, himself a Tutsi, would speak to the Hutu perpetrators of the genocide. It’s even more amazing when you consider that John’s own niece, Madu, was brutally raped and killed during the genocide. But Bishop John had a reason to reach out to these men in compassion—for he, too, had found forgiveness of his sins through Jesus Christ.

That compassion to love his would-be enemies is just one of the many reasons why we recently awarded Bishop John Rucyahana the William Wilberforce Award.

We present the award every year to a person who makes a difference in the face of formidable societal problems and injustices, no matter the opposition. Former recipients include people like Gary Haugen of the International Justice Mission; Benigno Aquino, the Philippine hero; Baroness Carolyn Cox; and Senator Sam Brownback. These are men and women who, as executive director of the Center for Justice and Reconciliation Dan Van Ness says, “challenge our comfortable assumptions.”

Bishop John’s faith does indeed challenge me. He found Christ while growing up as an exile from his native Rwanda. He puts it better than I’ve ever heard before: “I did not accept Jesus. Jesus graciously met me and accepted me.” This is a man who understands how we come empty-handed to Christ.

At a time when John wanted to pursue a degree, God led him and his wife, Beatrice, to start a school for 170 refugee children in Uganda. Today, some of those grown children serve in key posts in Rwanda.

Studying in the States during the 1994 genocide, Bishop John wanted desperately to go back to the ministry he had left behind in Uganda. But instead, he responded to God’s call to face the darkness by going back to his homeland—returning to Rwanda, finding bones bleached white by the sun littering the streets, open graves fouling the air. Still, Bishop John worked with others to establish Prison Fellowship Rwanda.

He helped start the Umuvumu Tree Project, which has brought together tens of thousands of perpetrators and victims of the genocide, offering offenders the opportunity to confess their crimes and victims the chance to forgive. Many have done so.

I wish I had time to share all the ways that Bishop John’s faith challenges our own. In addition to his work in Rwanda, he played a key role in founding the Anglican Mission in America. He encourages American Christians to be unashamed missionaries to their own society, reconciling their neighbors to Christ. Imagine, African missionaries to us—yes, we need them.

But most of all, Bishop John is a shining example of what it means to love our enemies—and to overcome evil with good.

For Further Reading and Information

Watch a video to learn how PF Rwanda is helping to reconcile people in this country ravaged by ethnic war and genocide.

Diane Singer, “A Weekend to Remember,” The Point, 26 January 2009.

“Rwandan Bishop Honored with Wilberforce Award,” Christian Post, 22 January 2009.

Catherine Larson, “Charting a Route to Restoration: Prison Fellowship Rwanda Helps to Bind a Nation’s Wounds,” Prison Fellowship.

Catherine Larson, As We Forgive: Stories of Reconciliation from Rwanda (Zondervan, 2009).

© 2009 Prison Fellowship - - http://www.breakpoint.org/
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
sallow: unhealthy looking
talisman: lucky charm
unconscionable: lacking conscience
vacuous: inanely foolish
wanton: behaving lewdly
yielding: giving in
acclaim: approval
bemoan: regret and complain
from http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/
~~~~~
"If we are always arriving and departing, it is also true that we are eternally anchored. One's destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things." - Henry Miller

"Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else has seen but understanding it for the first time." - Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

"I cannot give you the formula for success but I can give you the formula for failure - which is: Try to please everybody." - Herbert Bayard Swope

"They can because they think they can." - Vergil

"Nothing, to my way of thinking, is a better proof of a well-ordered mind than a man's ability to stop just where he is and pass some time in his own company." - Seneca

"How small of all that human hearts endure / That part which laws or kings can cause or cure." - Samuel Johnson

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

The Faith Aspect of this Year's Super Bowl
Aimee Herd (January 30, 2009)
"…in essence, it is a matter of thanking [Jesus] for the opportunity, thanking Him for being there in my life, for being the stronghold, for being the focus and the strength to accomplish all things, to accomplish anything, and to be where I am at, to have gone through everything I have gone through. It is a constant thing in my life." –Kurt Warner
With Christian players at both ends of the gridiron this Sunday—perhaps both asking God's blessing on the season's biggest game—some have wondered, "Which team will the Lord favor?"
For me though, it's not so much who will emerge the winner, but the appreciation of athletes who are following the Lord in every aspect of their lives, including their profession as football players in the NFL.
CBN News has highlighted a couple names from this weekend's opposing teams: Kurt Warner, Quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals, and Troy Polamalu, a safety with the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Gordon Robertson, of CBN, interviewed Warner and his wife; at one point asking about athletes who publicly thank God for victory or success.
Warner replied, "When you stand up and say, 'Thank You, Jesus,' they think you are saying, 'Thank You for being here. Thank You for moving my arm forward and making the ball go into that guy's hands so that we could score a touchdown and win the game.' But, in essence, it is a matter of thanking Him for the opportunity, thanking Him for being there in my life, for being the stronghold, for being the focus and the strength to accomplish all things, to accomplish anything, and to be where I am at, to have gone through everything I have gone through. It is a constant thing in my life. It is not just for something specific He did on the football field to help us win; it is for everything that He has done in my life up to that point and for everything He will continue to do in my life from here until eternity."
Visit Kurt Warner's First Things First Foundation website; [http://www.kurtwarner.org/]
Troy Polamalu, who has been a Believer since college, spoke with CBN's Shawn Brown about what keeps him grounded in the midst of his NFL career.
"Prayer is a foundation," explained Polamalu. "It's your communication with God. It's constant prayer—constant, constant, constant prayer," Troy said. "As your prayer life becomes more and more fine tuned and your conscience becomes more and more fine tuned, you're able to start plucking away at these things; like, 'Wow, you know, this is not good.' I think that's a struggle of every Christian, to be able to get to that point where they're in constant prayer with God—so that everything they do, in thought, in speech, in work, is praising God and worshiping God."
In addition to Warner and Polamalu, Ben Roethlisberger, quarterback for the Steelers, had been known to wear the letters "PFJ" (Play For Jesus) on his cleats, until the NFL forbade it according to uniform rules.
To read more on Troy Polamalu, [http://www.cbn.com/700club/guests/interviews/Troy_Polamalu012709.aspx], to read the article on Kurt Warner, follow the source link provided.
Source: Shawn Brown, Gordon Robertson – CBN News [http://www.cbn.com/entertainment/sports/kurtwarner_2002.aspx]

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: Talking Clock

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Marvin) -Tom

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

A man showed some friends his apartment. One guest asked "What's that big brass basin for?" "That's the talking clock," answered the man. He gave it an ear shattering pound with a hammer. Suddenly, a voice on the other side of the wall screamed, "Knock it off, it's 2 a.m., you idiot!"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Company Christmas Party

Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

I know my company has made a big effort to be family friendly, but I was baffled when I read this holiday announcement posted on the bulletin board:

"All employees are invited to the annual Christmas party. All children under the age of ten will receive a gift from Santa. Employees who have no children may bring grandchildren."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Bachelor Food Storage Guide

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Harry) -Tom
-------------------------------------

Here it is, the secret chart used by bachelors worldwide, because they don't have wives who can recognize on sight (and sometimes before) when the Big Mac has become one with the special sauce.

FREEZER FOODS:

ICE CREAM - If you can't tell the difference between your ice cubes and your ice cream, it's time to throw BOTH out.

FROZEN FOODS - Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

IN THE FRIDGE:

EGGS - When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS - Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway -- if you can dig down and still find something non-green, bon appetite!.

MEAT - If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, toss the meat.

LETTUCE - Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet and a brillo pad. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid. Endive never spoils, but you will never eat it anyway.

MAYONNAISE: If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled. Permanently.

CARROTS - A carrot you can tie into a clove hitch in is no longer fresh.

CHIP DIP - If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

UNMARKED ITEMS: You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them. If the original can you put it away in has finally lost its label, it's probably done.

EMPTY CONTAINERS: Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is a fine old trick, but it only works if you live with someone else.

ON THE SHELF:

CANNED GOODS - Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of ... Very carefully.

WINE - Should not be confused with salad dressing.

POTATOES - Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

THE GAG TEST - Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).

GENERAL RULE OF THUMB: - Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this.

BREAD: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are good indications that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment. You may wish to discard it at this time, depending on your interest in pharmaceuticals.

CEREAL: It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration date, or when it will no longer fall out of the box by itself.

FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles, or things fly out when you open it.

PRETZELS: Normally eternal, pretzels may be discarded if they can no longer be picked up without falling apart. Otherwise, there's nothing to stop you from eating a pretzel that the Pharaoh put down only 4000 years ago.

RAISINS: Raisins should not usually be harder than your teeth.

SALT: It never spoils. However, if you can't chip off reasonable amounts from the block, maybe another box is in order, as fresh salt usually pours.

SPICES: Most spices cannot die, they just fade away. They will be fine on your shelf, forever. Put them in your will.

VINEGAR: If your grandmother made it, it is probably still good.

EXPIRATION DATES: This is not a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Even dry foods older than you are may be ready to replace. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Grandmother's Meat Loaf

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Ann) -Tom
-------------------------------------

A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother's meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one you gave me. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?"

Her mother replied soothingly, "Well, dear, let's go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we'll figure it out."

"OK," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out, 'Take fifty cents worth of ground beef' ..."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: At the Library

Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

My kids are addicted to their computers. I took them to the library.
They didn't know what it was.
I told them it was Google Classic.
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If Satan ever loses his hair, \ /
\ _/ there'll be hell toupee. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I am reading a very interesting \ /
\ _/ book about anti-gravity. \_ /
/ / I just can't put it down. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / When cryptography is outlawed, \ /
\ _/ bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why isn't there \ /
\ _/ mouse-flavored cat food? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ /I didn't believe in reincarnation\ /
\ _/ the last time, either. \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_| ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?'
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, Why not?'
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, w here he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'
'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?'
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'
'You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government', says Bud.
'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'
'No guessing required.' answered the cowboy.
'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. .
Now give me back my dog.

Thanks to Gary Foreman
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Smiles from the Bible - It doesn't hurt to have a little Biblical humor to start the day....
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
A Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Thanks to Gary Foreman
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
A man and his wife are awakened at 3:00 AM by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger is standing in the pouring rain. "Can you give me a push?"
"Not a chance. It's three in the morning!! He slams the door and returns to bed.
His wife asks, "Who was that?"
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push."
"Did you help him?"
"No, I did not. It’s three in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory. Don't you remember a few months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man gets dressed, and heads out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?"
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?"
"Over here on the swing!"

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
The Bathtub Test

During a visit to a mental institution, I asked the Director, 'How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?'
'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'
'Oh, I understand,' I said. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'
'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'

Thanks to Gary Foreman
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Don't Smoke

A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a cigarette. "Are you trying to kick the habit?" she asked.

"No," I replied. "I have a cold, and I don't smoke when I'm not feeling well."

"You know," she observed, "you'd probably live longer if you were sick more often."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Billboard

I saw a billboard yesterday that said:

Need help? Call Jesus.
1-800-555-HELP

Out of curiosity I did.

A Mexican showed up with a tow truck.

Received from Becky D..

(-:][:-)

Before

A sixth-grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell "before."

He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R."

The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?"

Another little boy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R."

Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong." The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?"

Little Johnny stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E."

"Excellent, Johnny. Now can you use it in a sentence?"

Little Johnny says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore."

Received from Becky Day.

(-:][:-)

Crayons

Little Johnny had been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten every day since he started a month ago. Each day his mother admired the pictures and hung them on the refrigerator. One thing started bothering her: Little Johnny used only black and browns for his drawings. Fearing a problem and not wanting it to get worse, she decided to take him to a child psychologist.
The psychologist delicately went to work. He gave Little Johnny a battery of psychological tests. He chatted with Little Johnny. Everything seemed perfectly normal. Every day for two weeks, the tests continued. Yet every day, Little Johnny continued to bring home drawings in only blacks and browns.
Frustrated at not being able to get to the root of the problem and fearful that something was terribly wrong, the child psychologist decided to give Little Johnny some paper and a box of crayons and observe what happened.
Little Johnny opened the box of crayons and said, "Oh, boy! A new box of crayons! At school we only have old boxes. The only ones left in mine are black and brown!"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Ten Excuses Why You Were Late To Work

/* Since GCFL is late this morning, we thought this might be appropriate... Have a great week! */

1. I dreamed that I was fired, so I didn't bother to get out of bed.
2. I had to take my cat to the dentist.
3. I went all the way to the office and realized I was still in my pajamas and had to go home to change.
4. I saw that you weren't in the office, so I went out looking for you.
5. I couldn't find the right tie, so I had to wait for the stores to open so I could buy one.
6. My son tried to flush our ferret down the toilet and I needed to tend to the ferret.
7. I ran over a goat.
8. I stopped for a bagel sandwich, the store was robbed and the police required everyone to stay for questioning.
9. A bee flew in my car and attacked me and I had to pull over.
10. I wet my pants and went home to change.

Received from Michelle Solis.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2007/12/04/cant-contain-my-disdain-for-luggage-rules/ - - Can’t Contain My Disdain For Luggage Rules
It’s hard to believe, but snow globes (even tiny ones) are a carry-on baggage no-no. I’m not kidding — an airline luggage inspector actually seized our minuscule Vegas memento. Why? It seems that bomb-makers can do something really, really scary with the fraction-of-an-ounce of water contained in an eight-dollar snow globe.

And that brings me to my latest haiku:

Seizing your snow globe
For being an airline threat
Doesn’t hold water.

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
1st Published Bridge News
http://www.madkane.com/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Let it go for 2009.. By T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over and you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to change. Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth..... LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ........LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge.....LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.....LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude.......LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....LET IT GO!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves..... LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to......LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2009!!! LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then . LET IT GO!!! 'The Battle is the Lord's!'

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
DIVORCE will solve it all..............this is great.....

To all American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know, we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but, sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot, and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them) .
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's, and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks, and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.
But we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep God Bless America and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, 0Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickledown economics, and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you we'll keep our history, our name, and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to other likeminded liberal and conservative patriots, and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely, John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
KURTIS THE STOCK BOY AND BRENDA THE CHECKOUT GIRL In a supermarket, Kurtis the stock boy, was busily working when a new voice came over the loud speaker asking for a carry out at register 4. Kurtis was almost finished, and wanted to get some fresh air, and decided to answer the call. As he approached the check-out stand a distant smile caught his eye, the new check-out girl was beautiful. She was an older woman (maybe 26, and he was only 22) and he fell in love. Later that day, after his shift was over, he waited by the punch clock to find out her name. She came into the break room, smiled softly at him, took her card and punched out, then left. He looked at her card, BRENDA. He walked out only to see her start walking up the road. Next day, he waited outside as she left the supermarket, and offered her a ride home. He looked harmless enough, and she accepted. When he dropped her off, he asked if maybe he could see her again, outside of work. She simply said it wasn't possible. He pressed and she explained she had two children and she couldn't afford a baby-sitter, so he offered to pay for the baby-sitter. Reluctantly she accepted his offer for a date for the following Saturday. That Saturday night he arrived at her door only to have her tell him that she was unable to go with him. The baby-sitter had called and canceled. To which Kurtis simply said, "Well, let's take the kids with us." She tried to explain that taking the children was not an option, but again not taking no for an answer, he pressed. Finally Brenda, brought him inside to meet her children. She had an older daughter who was just as cute as a bug, Kurtis thought, then Brenda brought out her son, in a wheelchair. He was born a paraplegic with Down Syndrome. Kurtis asked Brenda, "I still don't understand why the kids can't come with us?" Brenda was amazed. Most men would run away from a woman with two kids, especially if one had disabilities - just like her first husband and father of her children had done. Kurtis was not ordinary - - - he had a different mindset. That evening Kurtis and Brenda loaded up the kids, went to dinner and the movies. When her son needed anything Kurtis would take care of him. When he needed to use the restroom, he picked him up out of his wheelchair, took him and brought him back. The kids loved Kurtis. At the end of the evening, Brenda knew this was the man she was going to marry and spend the rest of her life with. A year later, they were married and Kurtis adopted both of her children. Since then they have added two more kids. So what happened to Kurtis the stock boy and Brenda the check-out girl? Well, Mr. & Mrs. Kurt Warner now live in Arizona, where he is currently employed as the quarterback of the National Football League Arizona Cardinals and has his Cardinals in the hunt for a possible appearance in the Super Bowl. Is this a surprise ending or could you have guessed that he was not an ordinary person. It should be noted that he also quarterbacked the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI.

Thanks to Gary Foreman
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Vol 14, Number 10
27 Jan 2009

The FREE Issue - Part One In today's TOURBUS, everything is free! And in a difficult economy, what's not to like about that? In this issue you'll learn how to send a fax, make long distance phone calls, and get anti-virus protection, all for free. I'll also show you how to get HDTV broadcasts, and find people online. You'll see where to find online word processors, and how to get clip art and stock photos -- all without spending a penny. Read on!
+ ------------------------------------- +
Free Internet Faxing - - Need to send a fax? Use a free online service instead of heading to Kinko's. No software, no credit card, and no fax machine required...
[http://askbobrankin.com/send_a_free_fax.html]

Free Calls With Skype - - Skype is a software package that lets you make free calls to almost anyone, almost anywhere in the world. Get the scoop on Skype...
[http://askbobrankin.com/free_calls_with_skype.html]

Free Anti-Virus Programs - - There are plenty of excellent, free anti-virus programs that can keep your computer safe going forward. Here's my list of the best free anti-virus packages...
[http://askbobrankin.com/free_antivirus_programs.html]

Free HD TV on Your PC - - Even if you don't have cable or a fancy new HD television, you can still get free HDTV programming on your PC. Here's how...
[http://askbobrankin.com/free_hdtv_on_your_pc.html]

Free People Search Tools - - Are you searching for someone? Free online people search tools can help you find classmates, relatives, even dig up interesting facts about friends or foes...
[http://askbobrankin.com/free_people_search.html]

Free Online Word Processors - - There are several free web-based word processors that can create, edit, publish and share files online -- without having to purchase or install any software...
[http://askbobrankin.com/free_online_word_processors.html]

Free Clip Art and Stock Photos - - You don't have to spend hundreds of dollars on a good clip art and stock photo package. Here are some good sources for free artwork and photos...
[http://askbobrankin.com/free_clip_art.html]
+ ------------------------------------- +
SPONSORS

Flowers Fast! The Popular Online Florist [http://flowersfast.com/aw6.htm?gclid=CObzkc7rxpgCFQS7sgodmkHh2A]

Earn your degree, advance your career, secure your future-- all online.
Get the degree you've always wanted... from home, at work, or while traveling.
Get Free Information Now! [http://www.collegeanduniversity.net/index.cfm?event=l.lp&cid=700&csrc=TBUS&bid=239&sid=487]

Free PC Performance Scan [http://www.pcpitstop.com/store/optimize2.asp?AdID=244291&utm_source=tourbus&utm_medium=textad&utm_term=opitmize&utm_campaign=244291_tourbus_textad]
The more you use your computer, the slower it will get. Research shows, that after only months of use, your PC will be performing at just a fraction of its original performance.
Run the all new, FREE PC Pitstop Optimize 2.0 scan now and in just minutes, you'll discover numerous ways you can keep your PC running like new. Start the Free Scan Now! [http://www.pcpitstop.com/store/optimize2.asp?AdID=244291&utm_source=tourbus&utm_medium=textad&utm_term=opitmize&utm_campaign=244291_tourbus_textad]
+ ------------------------------------- +
That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin
+ ------------------------------------- +
====[ Tourbus Rider Information ]====
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238
Copyright 1995-2009, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved
Be Smarter & Better Looking Than [-99.959028-] Percent of Users
Hop On the Bus and Join 80,000 Others Around the World!
============================
Best of Everything - http://www.InternetTourbus.com/best.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Home - http://www.InternetTourbus.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.

Friday Blog Roundup - - http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/

For Whom Prevention Pays [http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2009/01/29/for-whom-prevention-pays/]
| by Liz Borkowski |

This post is part of a “global health blog carnival” [http://globalhealthreport.blogspot.com/2009/01/community-organizing-meets-global.html] effort that Christine Gorman at Global Health Report has just launched. The theme for today’s posts is “prevention vs. treatment” – visit this post [http://www.globalhealthreport.blogspot.com/2009/01/prevention-vs-treatment-false-choice.html] for links all participating posts.

Although my post focuses largely on the U.S. experience, it’s an example of a universal difficulty in justifying and funding prevention programs.

Maggie Mahar and Niko Karvounis [http://www.healthbeatblog.org/2009/01/the-war-against-tobacco-slows-.html] have posted some disturbing news at their Health Beat blog: The war against tobacco is slowing down. Many strategies that have helped lower the U.S. smoking rate to under 20% (counseling, quit lines, cessation clinics, and medications) simply can’t compete with other spending needs:
~
Nature Editorial on Iranian Doctor Case [http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2009/01/29/nature-editorial-on-iranian-doctor-case/]
| by revere |

by revere, cross-posted at Effect Measure [http://www.scienceblogs.com/effectmeasure/]

A powerful Editorial in today’s Nature (the world’s premier science publication) shines a strong light on a tragic violation of human rights in Iran involving two leading AIDS physicians, brothers Arash and Kamiar Alaei. We’ve posted about it twice ([http://scienceblogs.com/effectmeasure/2009/01/aids_doctors_held_on_secret_ch.php] and [http://scienceblogs.com/effectmeasure/2009/01/iranian_hiv_doctors_victims_of.php]). Declan Butler, a senior correspondent at Nature summarizes the story over at his blog: [http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2009/01/29/nature-editorial-on-iranian-doctor-case/#more-3917]

http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

A partial list of workplace fatalities.

Death of Monster Truck Nationals promoter, announcer called 'tragic accident'. - - January 25, Madison, Wisconsin - "A tragic accident" is how Dane County officials describe the death of George Eisenhart Jr. at the Monster Truck Nationals show Saturday night at the Dane County Coliseum -- the second death in just over a week involving monster trucks. Eisenhart, 41, of Chardon, Ohio, was hit by one of the giant-wheeled, thundering vehicles he loved when he stepped into its path near the end of the performance. He was pronounced dead two hours later at University of Wisconsin Hospital of major, "crushing" internal injuries, Coroner John Stanley said.

Police: Pizza delivery man shot in North Las Vegas. - - January 25, Las Vegas, Nevada —North Las Vegas police say a pizza delivery man was shot and killed as part of a robbery. Police say the shooting happened about 7:30 p.m. on Saturday. Authorities say when they arrived, officers found the victim suffering multiple gunshot wounds. Police have not made any arrests, and the victim has not been identified. The victim is described as a man in his 40s or 50s.

Family mourns construction engineer Darren Barnicoat, 35, man of ‘uncompromising character’. - - January 25, Boston, Massachusetts - The 35-year-old engineer who died on the job Friday when he was crushed by a tumbling brick at a Boston high-rise construction site is remembered as a hard worker of “uncompromising character” who enjoyed improving his home. Darren Barnicoat, who worked for A. A. Will Corp. in Stoughton, died while he was working in a 10-foot-deep pit at a construction and renovation project at Russia Wharf in the Financial District. In a statement issued yesterday, Barnicoat’s family - including his parents, two brothers and fiancee - said they would “remember a man who lived without pretension and treated others with fairness and goodwill.”

Allison Triarsi / 11 News. - - January 25, Houston, Texas – After one of his employees was killed during a robbery, the Wing Zone store manager had to see it for himself. “Not Miguel. I can’t see him saying anything to these guys or doing anything to them to make them want to shoot him. Especially not over a couple of dollars,” said Derrick William, Wing Zone manager. But according to Harris County sheriff’s deputies, a couple of dollars is exactly why 42-year-old Miguel Figueroa is dead. He leaves behind a wife and three children.

Worker Crushed in Accident. - - January 23, Guthrie, Oklahoma - A man was crushed to death as he and several others were working on a heating unit Thursday in Guthrie. Authorities say the three-thousand-pound component was propped up for service when it fell on the victim. Other workers lifted the unit off, but it was already too late for 26-year-old Leroy Coker. Federal labor officials are investigating.

Construction Safety - Worker crushed to death. - - January 24, Tampa, Florida - A 28-year old construction worker was crushed and killed while attempting to change a piece of equipment on the job in Prior Lake. OSHA is inspecting. The man, whose name was not released, was trying to change the bucket on a skid loader around 2:30 p.m. when he somehow got pinned between the bucket and the cab of the machine, according to the Scott County Sheriff's Office. He was working at Applied Ecological Services Inc. in the 21000 block of Mushtown Road. There is no time-out from employing the right safety rules at the job site. Construction work is extremely unforgiving and dangerous.

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01. Sgt. Kyle J. Harrington, 24, of Swansea, Mass., died Jan. 24 in Basra, Iraq, of injuries sustained from a non-hostile accident in his unit motor pool. He was assigned to the 542nd Maintenance Company, 80th Ordnance Battalion, 593rd Sustainment Brigade, Fort Lewis, Wash.

02. Lance Cpl. Julian T. Brennan, 25, of Brooklyn, N.Y., died Jan. 24 while supporting combat operations in Farah province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

03. Pvt. Grant A. Cotting, 19, of Corona, Calif., died Jan. 24 in Kut, Iraq, of injuries sustained from a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 515th Sapper Company, 5th Engineer Battalion, 4th Maneuver Enhancement Brigade, Fort Leonard Wood, Mo.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two Marines who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. The following Marines died Jan. 27 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan:
04. Sgt. David W. Wallace III, 25, of Sharpsville, Pa.
05. Sgt. Trevor J. Johnson, 23, of Forsyth, Mont.
The Marines were assigned to the 2nd Combat Engineer Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the death of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died from wounds suffered when two OH-58D Kiowa Warrior helicopters crashed Jan. 26 in Kirkuk, Iraq. They were assigned to the 6th Squadron, 6th Cavalry Regiment, 10th Combat Aviation Brigade, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Drum, N.Y. Killed were:
06. Chief Warrant Officer Philip E. Windorski, Jr., 35, of Bovey, Minn.
07. Chief Warrant Officer Matthew G. Kelley, 30, of Cameron, Mo.
08. Chief Warrant Officer Joshua M. Tillery, 31, of Beaverton, Ore.
09. Chief Warrant Officer Benjamin H. Todd, 29, of Colville, Wash.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Scheduled Activities
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Interested in getting in touch with the Banner-News through e-mail?
E-mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner-News.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Acts 27:40-44 Luke 10:2 Acts 26:9-11 Acts 10:30-32 Eph 3:12-15 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the "Blog" version just go to one of the several addresses on the web. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat_q__.blogspot.com, where _ is the quarter (1, 2, 3, or 4) and __ is the year (05, 06, 07, or 08). We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at kc5hii@suddenlink.net and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2009 before it was sent.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>